F- Your Birthplan

Imagine you are in the beginning stages of labor and your midwife tells you she has a license plate frame on her car that says "F&%# Your Birth Plan". Well, mine did.

Before I get into my personal birth plan story, let me say this: I know a lot and I mean A LA-HOT of pregnant Mommy Friends right now and everything you will read will tell you to draft a birth plan in preparation of your upcoming delivery. Now, I don't disagree with this advice at all, in fact, I myself penned a birth plan with my first pregnancy. A word of sincere advice however, please don't be hell bent on the execution of your birth plan as I was.

With my first pregnancy, my delivery was a planned induction and armed with my trusty pillow and birth plan, Big Daddy P and I walked into Labor & Delivery (L&D) all kinds of calm and ready to meet our little one. My birth plan was the source of much of my calmness and having actually made it to L&D on a scheduled appointment was just perfect for a planner such as myself. I briefly discussed my birth plan with my OB/GYN and we were ready to roll. A million hours later, in the trenches of heated labor, my OB got into a huge (and unprofessional) fight with the Anesthesiologist regarding some medical results in my file and I ended up giving birth naturally without an epidural, in other words, everything contrary to my birth plan. The surprise, fear and catastrophic disappointment of my OB to even consider my birth plan left me devastated.

Since this entry was obviously not intended to scare all my beautiful preggo Mommy Friends, I offer my second birth experience. With Little BooBoo's pregnancy, I didn't bother with a birth plan since I had really just given up on the idea since my unexpected natural birth. I went into labor at home and arrived to L&D ready to get the party started, fully expecting the unexpected. My midwife comes in and we discuss my pain management options, I tell her about my previous delivery and she is horrified, she feels my pain.

I told her I had a birth plan which wasn't followed and she shook her head yes. Yes? Wait, huh? She told me she had a license plate frame on her car that says, "F&^% Your Birth Plan". I could only assume the "F" meant "Forget" but I don't think it did. OoooKkkk...so maybe this wasn't the right midwife for me but why was I only figuring this out now?

She went on to explain that birth plans do indeed serve a very useful purpose. They help new parents educate themselves on their options, give them an opportunity to discuss specific anxieties with their healthcare provider and facilitate communication among the parents themselves. On the flip side however, she suggested birth plans should not be intended for use as a detailed itinerary of how the birthing process was going to go down. She advised that each birth was individual and when the staff and hospital was in a position to accommodate the mother they would definitely try but with so many factors affecting labor and delivery, (most importantly the health of mom and child) sometimes following the birth plan is simply not an option. She said she couldn't even tell me how many times she had to talk a hysterical birthing mom down when the birth experience wasn't going according to her birth plan. She asked me to trust in her and her staff and she would provide me with a positive and enlightening birth experience, even without a plan.

Confidence renewed, I pressed on. She was so right; my second birth experience was truly incredible and joyous, even without a birth plan.

For you Mommies-To-Be, write that birth plan, discuss your options, educate yourself. It is the greatest gift you can give yourself and your partner in preparation for your delivery day but maybe a birth plan ought to be considered more like a "birth wish" so we are better mentally prepared to stray from the plan when necessary.

While you surely have expectations of your birthing process, the ultimate expectation is meeting your healthy and perfect little one; keep your eye on the prize Mommy Friends!

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