The Great Mom Debate: How Do You Handle Religious Prayer at Thanksgiving?

By Charlotte Hilton Andersen, REDBOOK

We're a praying kind of family. This is partly because we're religious, but it also has a lot to do with the hilarious prayers created by our kids. One son recently blessed dinner thusly: "Dear God, please bless my brother to stop being a stupid jerk and messing up all my stuff while I'm gone at school, because I really hate him but I'm not allowed to kill him or even hit him. Amen. Oh, and thanks for the food. I already said 'Amen'." This 10 second prayer was too long for our toddler, who closed her eyes with one hand and shoveled food into her mouth with the other. See? Who wouldn't want more of this at every meal? And yet, we also understand that not everyone-or even all our family members-share our faith, and so we work hard to teach our kids how to be respectful of everyone's beliefs. For some reason, Thanksgiving seems to be the ultimate test for this.

At a friend's home recently, the food was brought out, and everyone started to dig in. That is until my 5-year-old bellowed, "We have to say the prayer first! Stop eating!!" His fiery gaze implied "you godless heathens" as my friends stared at him in shock. (Note to self: Maybe don't scream so much at dinnertime?) My face flushed, and I clamped a hand over his mouth, hoping that our hosts were not offended by his sudden devotion. Thankfully, they weren't. They offered to wait patiently while our family said our prayers. The rest of the meal was uneventful… well, as uneventful as a meal with seven children under the age of nine can be.

When my best friend, who is Muslim, and her family came over, I offered them a quiet room where they could perform their ritual prayers. (Okay, that makes it sound like I banished them. They prefer to do their prayers alone.)

Unfortunately, relatives can be touchier than casual friends about religious overtures, and so of course I'm already stressing about all the potential praying situations in the upcoming holidays. Help me out! Tell me what you teach your kids about saying grace or your religious equivalent.

What do you think about religious prayer before meals, especially at Thanksgiving? Share your thoughts:
-We're not religious, and prayer before meals makes me very uncomfortable.
-We're not religious, so we sit quietly while others pray.
-We say our prayers at home, but we don't say them out in public.
-We want to be consistent, so we say our prayers at home and in public.
-It's Thanksgiving, and I believe everyone should say some version of grace over the meal.
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