Is Being Called "Grandma" Too Old-Fashioned?
By Tara Weng, GalTime.com
I know that no one likes getting old, much less feeling older. For some women being designated a "nana," "grandma," or, in my family, a "nanny" can feel like a death sentence, like someone is literally sucking your youth right from you. While I can empathize and certainly am not there yet, it seems like the birth of your first grandchild should be a happy thing, something you're proud of, not a mere name changer. In fact, in some cases women are reinventing the title altogether using cutesy nicknames for their grandmotherly status. Does this work and does it really matter? "Many baby boomers erroneously believe that by finding a hip, young-sounding, original name for their new station in life, somehow it will magically mean that they are hip, young and original. No matter what you call grandparents, they are still grandparents. Instead of mentally playing a game with the name, cute as it may be, it won't stop the inevitability of aging," says psychologist Dr. Michael Mantell.
Related: Did I Just Say THAT?!
My kids were the first grandchildren on my parents' side so for them and for me it was only natural that they picked the name they could utter when old enough. My son's choice was Nanny and Buppy (nontraditional for sure but more to do with the fact that Pa was not coming out strong.) I guess I never bothered to ask my mother (who I considered and was a young grandparent) her thoughts on the matter. The label stuck and has been going strong four grandkids later. Still, according to some recent celebrity books, the label of "grandma" has taken on a connotation that screams "OLD." Dr. Mantell does not see this as a good example for other grandmas. "The problem of insisting that grandchildren call you the cute name you chose is that it often does not work out as planned. Kids will call grandparents very often what THEY want, not what WE want. I believe that instead of being concerned about the name, ACTIVE AGING, staying fit, being engaged in exercise, proper nutrition, and taking care of oneself are far more important," he suggests.
Related: Are Your Kids Spoiled? A Simple Test
Drawing on my own experience with my "nanas," to me they were women to be respected. They were cool, funny and had real personalities, not women stuck in old shells. As I got older and they did too they were tremendous sources of advice and women who I looked up to. Losing my last nana within the last year has had a tremendous effect on my life. I can't call her up and say, "How in the world did you raise five boys and not lose your mind?" It never occurred to me once that my grandparents' age precluded them from being role models and my rock(s) in some cases. This, too, extends to my mother and my mother-in-law (one nanny and one brown nanny-another funny case of child word association.)
Related: 10 Worst Things a Parent Can Say
I have to concur with Dr. Mantell on this one, I'm "old-school", I guess, when it comes to the reverence of my grandparents. If I ever uttered "Hey, Flo" or "Hey, Eleanor," my parents would've recoiled in shame and gave me a few good tips as to why to never do that again. Mantell says as much. "Beneath our drive to create original, hip, and young-sounding names for ourselves lurks fear - terror, really - of our inevitable decline. Though elders were once universally revered for their age and wisdom, and titles like Grandmother and Grandfather once automatically conferred respect, unfortunately, age is not something our contemporary culture celebrates." If that is in fact the case, that's a sad reflection on what matters to us as a society. No name change should ever take away the idea that we have something to learn from previous generations….like it or not Glam-Ma!
More from GalTime.com
