You Know You're in the Newborn Vortex When…

Otto's FootOtto's FootLast weekend, our family arrived at a party an hour and a half late… except that when we got there, we realized we were an hour and a half early. (At least we got the day right.) I also recently discovered a small, but stubborn, dreadlock in my hair during the one morning in the span of a week that I washed it. "Lunch" to me means eating a hot dog spit-style on a fork while I walk/wear/burp my baby around the kitchen. And it probably goes without saying that I'm sporting my fair share of yoga pants, accessorized with burp cloths and Boppy pillows.

I'm in The Newborn Vortex: where moms of brand-new-littles live by a 24-hour, baby-centric clock, mostly-sleepless, often-shirtless, drunk on the smell of infant breath and utterly captivated by the tiny, dreamy people we'd do anything for. If you're in the vortex too, and your life's been a little weird lately, rest assured you're not alone. (And you'll be feeling normal again--well, a new kind of normal--before you know it.) Check out the moments that tipped other moms off that they were living, albeit temporarily, in an alternate reality, and share your latest and greatest vortex adventures in the comments. We're laughing with you, I promise.

Related: How These Moms Found Their New Normal
  • "Our firstborn was a light sleeper and fought sleep like no one's business. I'd finally get him to sleep, crawl into bed, and wake, hollering, 'Where's the baby? Where's the baby?,' waking both the baby and my husband." - Jennifer Linney, mom of two and blogger at Bug and the Sweet Banana, Bristow, Virginia
  • "I recently left the house with two mismatched shoes and didn't realize it until halfway through my shift at work." - Jennifer Borget, mom of two and blogger at Baby Making Machine, Austin, Texas
  • "I'd freely discuss baby poop, and my nipples, with complete strangers." - Becca Woodward Tabbutt, mom of two, Parkesburg, Pennsylvania
  • "You know you're in the vortex when the baby's asleep on your chest, and you need to pee, so you hold it until the last second, contemplating how to get up, pee, wipe, wash hands and lie back down while precariously balancing the baby… without waking her." - Sarah Horaczek, mom of two, Albany, New York
  • "One night, after my daughter was born, my husband woke with a start and carefully picked up one of our pillows, cradling it in his arms like a baby… until he realized it was just a pillow." - Kate Rope, mom of two, Brooklyn, New York
  • "The other day, I walked into the front yard with my nursing top hanging down, and my boob completely hanging out. Oops!" - Tricia Eaton, mom of two, Austin, Texas
Your turn! How, or when, did you know you were (or are) in The Newborn Vortex?

- By Taylor Hengen Newman

For those first few weeks home with a newborn, visit BabyZone!

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