This list will give you some insight into my sense of mom humor...
I used to periodically do these posts on my previous blog--roundups of the parenting musings I see in my newsfeed that make me laugh or smile or nod in agreement. I don't know about you but there are plenty of parenting posts that make me roll my eyes (I tend to cringe at the super-earnest stuff: "I love being a mommy so much, it's the best job in the WHOLE world!"). So when I see something I like, I don't just facebook like it, I love it. And I save it to share with my readers. I generally gravitate toward the funny and self-deprecating. The less-than perfect mom confessions that make me feel better about my own sub-par parenting moments, or give me a much-needed chuckle in my workday. I even like the funny-kid updates reminding me that, no matter how hard they can be, kids are pretty damn cute. Being that today is the first day back from an epic holiday weekend (hope you all enjoyed yourselves!), it seemed like a good time to share my latest crop. Here's what I've been liking lately:
Christi Pavlis Wampler
I didn't make it to the gym today, but I did try on a Spanx bathing suit, so I at least got some cardio in.
I'm frequently unsure about whether the thing I'm doing makes me a good mother or a patsy.
So Owen earned privilege time this morning and when I told him he had 10 extra minutes of iPhone time, he looked at me and said "Mom, when you give me privileges, my heart grows bigger and when my heart is bigger, I can love my parents even more." Yeah. I'm in trouble.
Amanda Hertig Cullinan
Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to camp they go!
Meredith Hartman Shanley
This morning Luke discovered an empty Pampers box bound for the trash, and promptly began carrying it around with his toy lacrosse stick in it. And the first thing I could blurt out to my 14 month old (in sing-songy voice) was "hey buddy - it's your stick in a box!" This may be the last you hear from me, I called child protective services on myself.
Linsey Macksood Hessling
I could totally do no dairy if it wasn't for cheese. I could also totally do no wine if it wasn't for wine.
My 5-year-old, Jewish daughter, born and raised in the northern suburbs of Chicago, was complaining about it being hot in her room. She just proclaimed, "I'm sweatin' like a sinner in church." Um, I think it's time to lay off The Princess and the Frog a bit.
Christi Pavlis Wampler
Paul just told me that from working out in the yard today, he's lost 7lbs in water weight. So if anyone needs me, I'll be digging a 6-foot, 2-inch hole in the backyard. You know, for exercise.
Just heard disturbing conversation about Chippendales coming from Chloe's room before realizing she and her friend were actually discussing Chip and Dale.
I really need to get a tee-shirt that says "I'm running this slow because I had a c-section 6 weeks ago!" In the meantime, what is it the kids say #sorryimnotsorry
Ah, the moment you threaten not to take them to the pool party if they keep fighting, and you pray it works because otherwise you're stuck here listening to them fight all afternoon.
You know you're on vacation when you use your beer as a cold pack on your kid's owie.
Got any funny parenting-themed statuses of your own you've posted lately? Share them here!