Off the Handlebars: The Ultimate Staycation

Sorry we missed you. We are currently not checking email, Twitter, or your Facebook status updates detailing your $1,500 a night "glamping vacation." We are enjoying our very own 3-day "ultimate staycation," replete with onsite spa services, a fully-equipped kitchen, washer/dryer, children's library, chef, butler and wi-fi, just steps from a beach, pool, waterfall, hiking trails and an 18-hole golf course.

We haven't left the house.

Day 1
Oooh wee! That was a long trip from the back door down the porch steps to the start of our staycation, which begins on our moss-covered aggregate patio. My back hurts. Wah. Time for a massage. I'm opting for the hot stone treatment. The spa menu says that the stones will warm naturally from the Northwest's own thermal temperature.

hot stones

Wait. Why aren't the rocks heating up?

Ah, well. We're going for it anyway.


Okay, probably not the best massage in the world, but definitely not the worst.

Our accommodations include "indoor tent camping" which I think is a lot better than "outdoor tent camping." No bugs, no drunken neighbors at nearby campsites, and a real live working toilet and sink ten feet away. Now that's what I call luxury!


Day 2