One is the New Two: Crabtot's Sibling Curiousities

Glamour Magazine

Crabtot is learning about siblings at preschool this week. I think some of the kids are having trouble with their wee brothers and sisters, so issues like jealousy and anger are being addressed in stories and games. An age-old theme, sibling rivalry. I feel sure I've seen a million books with titles like Go Away, Baby Carla! and Get Your Own Mommy, Kayden! Or something like that.

But I'm looking for a slightly different book. It's called I Want a Sister, But Mom Says It's Not Happening. Or maybe it's called Why Does My Mommy Look So Freaked Out When I Ask for a Baby? Or something like that.

Seriously, there's a sibling book that needs to be written. A book for our modern age. Where more and more of us are too selfish, broke, old, environmentally conscious to have more than one tot. Maybe I will write this book! Let's give it a crack, shall we?

It will be a variation on the classic Are You My Mother? It will be called Are You My Sister? But instead of a bird looking for its mother, it will have a little girl in it. After getting no satisfactory answer on where her baby sister is from her parents, the little girl runs away to find her. She goes up to a baby chick and says, "Are you my sister?" And then she asks a calf, a piglet etc. etc. Eventually her parents find her and tell her they've been half mad with worry and that no way is there ever going to be any baby sister. I mean, they put their arms around her and say that they love her too much to share her with any babies. And then they say "Let's go get a goldfish!" Or, "Let's get some dark pink ice cream!"

Or something like that.

Yes, Crabtot thinks it's lame that she has no siblings and plans to improve on our track record when she grows up. She's 3.5 but she already knows how many kids she wants. "Sixteen," she states firmly every time I ask. And after talking about sisters with me this past week, she announced another game plan yesterday: "I'm going to buy a baby sister." Good idea. Because that's the only way you're going to get one, my poppet.

Anyone have any good answers to the "Why don't I have a brother/sister?" question?


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