Parenting merit patches: What badges of honor have you earned?

When my husband was a documentary producer working on this HBO movie, I remember listening to a bunch of young guys talking about taking spills on their BMX dirt bikes how their injuries and scars were badges of honor. As a parent, my badges of honor are a little different: stretch marks; being vomited on by my kid in the emergency room; and the scar on my foot after spraining my ankle a few months ago on my way to pick up my preschooler, to name a few.

I recently learned of a company called mama merit badges (yes, all lower case). They sell patches akin to the ones that Girl Scouts earn upon completing projects and activities. They include the "Eating Out" patch for mamas who "have picked up pasta from a filthy floor, created a game with empty creamers, straws and sugar packets," and generally survived eating out with a young child. There is the "Shopping" patch, for those of us with insane tales after daring to take our kids to Target or the grocery store with us. And one of my other favorites, the "Medical" merit badge, for withstanding the many, many doctor's visits (and those painful cries during vaccinations) of our kids. (The badges sell for five bucks and you can buy them on mama merit badges.)

Parents
magazine also wrote about mommy merit badges and came up with some clever ideas in its May issue.

Other mama (and dad!) merit badges that would be fun to see? One for being able to detect an explosive poop from across the house; one for knowing the difference between a Triceratops and a Pentaceratops (scary!); and one for showing yours kid how to throw a curve ball and split-finger pitch (in concept...successfully throwing the pitch should be another badge).

Shine moms and dads, what parenting badges of honor/merit badges have you earned? (And you have to share the funny stories behind those badges!)