Pregnancy Anonymous


[Image credit]

Since I am obviously not a licensed psychiatrist, I am the last Mommy Friend who should be dishing out psychiatric diagnosis of any kind. Self-diagnosis however, is a whole different ball game I have been practicing for years. I have decided I suffer from Pregnancy Addiction, if there even is such a thing. So I just capitalized the term which made it look medically official but I'm pretty sure it's not. So if you will go with me here, I think maybe I've got something.

Most Mommy Friends who have been pregnant have loved the attention. I mean, I think you have, I did. I can tell you that attention was all I had, especially in the later months when I outweighed my husband and child combined.
[Image credit]

Yes it's true, I loved all the special treatment, the warm smiles from strangers, the special "Expectant Mothers" parking sign and how round my belly had become. I was all powerful and all female; see Queen of the Universe for a more in-depth analysis. So my pregnant psyche was unstoppable and yet my rolly polly body was quite the contrary. I loved the maternal glow and have almost managed to forget the nausea that lasted until 20 weeks. And then there was the baby shower, a reunion of wonderful old friends who showered me with well-wishes and adorable onsies.

The baby shower was just the highlight of my pregnancy until labor day, more please! And finally, as a working Mommy Friend I sort of enjoyed the free pass my pregnancy gave me for 5 months of maternity leave; not too shabby.

It is with a little shame that I type the following admission so please, no judgment:

When my precious baby finally arrived after 40 patient weeks of daydreaming, I was a little surprised to learn my public just wasn't into me, they were into my baby.

Ooo, what a harsh reality Mommy Friend, apparently I am that needy. Suddenly I found myself in the corner all fresh from my postpartum tour of duty and all anyone could talk about was my gorgeous new baby. And of course, that was the way it's supposed to be, all of this pregnancy business was leading up my baby's birthday! As in love as I was with my new baby, suddenly being bumped from my throne of greatness was a lot to handle as I came down from my preggo hormone high.

There is no question, children are the best thing ever. I love my children and if I my time and resources allowed, I'd have a gazillion more because I know there's a girl in there somewhere. I'll just say I miss pregnancy and that ain't baby fever talking. I miss the feeling of greatness, invincibility and ability to embrace my growing waistline. You caught me, it's mostly the growing waistline thing.

Want more Mommyfriend (aww, shucks), click here!