Royal Baby Watch: The Queen Might Go on Holiday If Kate Doesn't Give Birth Soon

Vanity Fair

Sarah Ball



The Queen will have no more of this dilatory nonsense, young lady/man: if the royal baby doesn't get here soon, the Queen is this close to just going on vacation anyway. Per annual custom, she repairs next Friday to Balmoral, her ancestral, plaid-carpeted home in Scotland where she keeps her rock collection. Ahead of her holiday-which traditionally lasts through September-she's with a recovering Prince Philip at Windsor Castle, her "favorite" castle, but has apparently run out of amusing diversions.

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On Sunday, needing "fresh air," according to the Daily Mail, the Queen had the Royal Land Rover brought 'round and was driving up the road when, glimpsing an ongoing lawn-bowling competition out of her window, she hailed her driver to pull over. The two teams-evidently the W.N.B.A.'s Timeless Torches dressed by Thom Browne-were sparring on the nearby Royal Household Bowling Club lawns, where the surprise-spectator Queen stayed to watch for almost two hours before hanging with the players and posing for pictures. Of the bowled-over crowd in attendance, nobody dared ask the Queen about her forthcoming great-grand, Mail reporter Rebecca English writes on Twitter, except for some cheeky kid in the audience:

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You're on notice, Lottie Wales!

Among the other things the Queen did while at this delightful bowling party was to "fist pump" after hearing some update on the English national cricket team.

Who needs even one more royal when you have the Queen?

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