Straight Talk: “Is it creepy that Elton John is now a dad?”

Q: Now that I've seen Elton John being interviewed by Barbara Walters on 20/20 about his new son, I have to ask: Am I alone in feeling that Elton raising a child is about the creepiest thing one could ever think of?

A: Regular readers of this column know that, even when provoked, I try to do very little finger-wagging when I answer people's questions. But this question disturbs me because I think the questioner really means: "Isn't the idea of a gay man raising a child revolting?" I don't think she's creeped out by his flamboyant stage outfits or his songs (and I will admit that I truly dislike "The b---- Is Back"). Nope, I think she's truly upset by the fact that he's gay.

For those who don't know the backstory, Sir Elton (yes, he was knighted by Queen Elizabeth) and his husband spent years trying to start a family. About five months ago, their son Zachary was born. Little Zach joins the millions of kids being raised by gay parents around the globe; according to some estimates there as many as 14 million children with gay parents in the United States alone. And keep in mind that it's not so easy for gay parents to have kids or raise them. If the law doesn't stand in the way, human biology and sheer expense do. That's why virtually every kid who winds up in an LGBT family is wanted: there are no "mistakes" when the bar is set so high. I know this from experience; my sister and her wife have had two wonderful girls, and each time it was about the furthest thing possible from "wham, bam, thank you, ma'am!"

If you're concerned about the welfare of kids in gay families, consider what the American Academy of Pediatrics has to say about it (and these folks know a thing or two about babies and children): "Children raised by same-gender parents fare as well as those raised by heterosexual parents." In addition, when the American Psychological Association conducted a meta-analysis of 67 studies of children of gay parents, they found that kids in same-sex-parent families turned out the same-no better, no worse-as children in straight families. In fact, one landmark study published in 2010 in the journal Pediatrics found that children raised by lesbian moms had more self-esteem and self-confidence, performed better academically, and were less likely to have behavioral problems than kids in straight families.

Unfortunately, the short answer to your question is no, you're probably not alone in finding the prospect of Elton John raising a child to be creepy. But I hope you understand that his being gay has absolutely no impact on his fitness to be a parent. As long as Sir Elton doesn't croon "The b---- Is Back" as a nighttime lullaby, little Zach should turn out just fine!


Steven Petrow is the author of Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners and can also be found online here. Got a question? Email him at ask@gaymanners.com