Teen Dating Violence Safety Plan

OCTOBER IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH

The Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that among female victims of intimate partner violence, a current or former boyfriend or girlfriend victimized 94% of those between the ages of 16-19. Therefore, it is imperative for parents to discuss safety planning with their teen before they begin to date.

This is a follow-up to my two previous blogs on Teen Dating Violence
(Oct. 14 & Oct 18). Please read these blogs on how to talk to your teen about this issue, how to recognize warning signs, and how to help them get out of an abusive/controlling relationship.

Following are questions to ask your teen to think about and have an answer to regardless if they are in a controlling/abusive relationship now or not.

  1. If you have an argument on a date and feel unsafe, whom do you call? What do you do if left in an unsafe place?

  2. If you have an argument at school, who could help you? Where are you safe at school? What teacher/counselor do you trust?

  3. If you have an argument at a house and feel unsafe, try to discuss it in a safe room. (avoid bathrooms, garage, kitchen, near weapons or in rooms without access to a door).

  4. Use a code word with your family and friends so they can call for help.

  5. Call someone or make an excuse if he /she comes over and you're alone and feeling unsafe.

  6. If you get in an argument and feel unsafe, know where the exits and phones are in the room.

  7. When he/she calls and you feel threatened, screen the calls, change your phone number, or trace the calls for a stalking report.

  8. If you see him standing outside, what can you do, and who can help you so that you can be safe. Take pictures or document how many times it happens to file a stalking report.


FOR TEENS: IF YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE/CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIP AND ARE TRYING TO GET OUT OF IT, PLEASE FOLLOW THIS ADVICE FOR YOUR SAFETY:

· stay in contact with friends

· continue activities you enjoy

· try not to be alone with your partner

· tell a teacher, parent, counselor or other trusted adult

· change your routine

· carry extra change, in case you need a phone or transportation

· keep a list of important numbers with you

· end the relationship in a public place

· inform someone of where you're going and when you'll return

· trust your instincts

· get an injunction for protection

· call the police


Linda Peterman is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in private practice in Tampa, Florida specializing in couples counseling, relationships, communication, domestic violence and other issues pertinent to mental health and happiness. http://www.counselingtampa.com/


Follow Linda Peterman's SHINE blog at
http://shine.yahoo.com/blog/KXY2HTFBA7KPUPKRG4PJ7ACULY/