Teen Dating Violence Warning Signs

Linda Peterman, Licensed Mental Health Counselor

OCTOBER IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH

57% of teens know someone who has been physically, sexually or verbally abusive in a dating relationship. 33% of teens have witnessed such an event. However, 81% of parents surveyed believe teen dating violence is not an issue or admit they don't know if it's an issue.

This is a follow-up to my blog from Thursday, October 14 on Teen Dating Violence. In my last post, I encouraged parents to talk to their teens about abusive/controlling relationships. 54% of parents surveyed admit they've not spoken to their child about dating violence. Following is a list of warning signs of an abusive partner and a potentially dangerous relationship.

  • Usually begins with signs of jealousy and possessiveness (accuses victim or flirting and/or cheating eventually)

  • Pressures victim for quick relationship

  • Limits or controls who the victim sees or talks to and where they go (suspicious/paranoid)

  • Constant Calls--checking up or asking them to check in

  • Puts down everyone victim knows

  • Blames victim or everyone else for his problems· Expects victim to always be with him

  • Tells victim what to wear or what not to wear

  • Walk on eggshells trying not to upset him (feels like you can't do anything right, feel nervous)

  • Decides what school activities the victim may participate in

  • Sees everything as a personal attack

  • Encourages illegal behavior/drug and alcohol use

  • Humiliates/puts down/embarrasses the victim in front of peers

  • Uses sulking and anger or makes victim feel guilty (then becomes sweet and apologetic)

  • Breaks or strikes objects

  • Forces victim into sexual behavior (67% of sexual assaults of adolescent and college-aged women are date rapes)

  • Threatens to expose the victim's sexual activity to others students.

  • Yells, grabs, pushes, pinches, shakes, slaps, holds victims down, pulls hair, throws things

  • Threatens suicide if victim breaks up with them

  • Hurts animals or threatens to

  • Abusive to previous partner

  • Abuses alcohol or drugs

  • They HATE their mother or father

1 in 5 female high school students report being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner. Parents have a responsibility to be aware of the severity and frequency of dating violence and the fact that the controlling behavior typically gets more violent as the relationship gets more committed.


COMING NEXT: SAFETY PLANNING FOR TEENS IN ABUSIVE/CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIPS


Linda Peterman is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in private practice in Tampa, Florida specializing in couples counseling, relationships, communication, domestic violence and other issues pertinent to mental health and happiness. http://www.counselingtampa.com/


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