User post: Drive-through Starbucks saves mom's life

A Parent in Silver Spring - Jessica McFadden

Both my children fell asleep in the car today on the drive home from school. They're six and four and have never been much for napping, so this was a cause for a celebration ...

of the caffeinated, skim, double pump and extra shot kind!

Quiet Starbucks drive-through run, oh how I've missed you.

For four years straight I lived in that purgatory of child rearing with children who still napped BUT if they fell asleep in the car for one nanosecond they "counted" that teensy wink as their nap. And then they were exhausted messes for the remainder of the day.

Thankfully, the drive-through Starbucks in my area saved my sanity AND my kids' sleep schedules.

Now some of you industrious individuals may know a secret to keeping your child awake with music and snacks and the sighting of wild game outdoors. Keeping her awake you are able to (safely) speed home and deposit her in the crib.

Other, more saintly types, may simply go about your usual schedule, let the child nap in the car for a short while and patiently deal with the consequences. There, there you'll sweet coo and read The Runaway Bunny and stroke the missed-napper's hair, not minding that she's raging against you like Regan in The Exorcist.

But if you are a BAD MOMMY like me, you take the opportunity of your child's car seat droolfest to zone out in the quiet, listen to NPR or music other than Raffi, add unnecessary steps to your carbon footprint and head to the nearest corporate killer of independent commerce.

If you think this sounds like a good idea, well, there ARE rules that you must heed.

  • Do not drive through a fast food place instead. Kids can smell a Felicitous Fatfest a mile away and they will immediately wake up after one whiff of grease.

  • Do not order yourself any food. Just a bevvie. This will keep your bank account AND waistline in check and you can eat (or you should have already eaten) with the kids. A bevvie is a treat. A whole meal at Starbucks is a waste.

  • Do NOT leave your kids in the car and just dash into a non-drive through. That is just dangerous and illegal. There's often a police officer or mom you know inside, so you can totally get caught. (It's one thing to be a BAD MOMMY but quite another to have other people call you on it.)

  • Do not shamelessly flirt with the cute barista guy at the window. I don't think there's any harm to the marriage vows thing, but the kids can wake up crying anytime, totally putting salt in your hot-babysitter-not-a-mom game.

I know, I know. We should support local and independently-owned businesses. I do. They just haven't opened one with a window carved into the side yet. Hey Moms and Pops - business plan! Think about it.

I also know we should conserve gas and road time for a multitude of environmental reasons. I do. I'm to green my parenting practices as much as possible. Which is why I feel entitled to once in a while allow myself an overpriced latte without leaving my vehicle or my snoring darlings.

How 'bout you guys? Do you do this too?

Jessica writes about more constructive, fun ways for parents to spend time with their kids at A Parent in Silver Spring.com. She is a contributor to the Yahoo! Mother Board.