User post: Rejected by our sperm donor

There are 1,700 donors on the Donor Sibling Registry, last I heard. All of those men are open to contact with their donor children. Some even try to find their children with no assistance from the sperm banks where they donated. New kinds of families are forming all over the country, similar to those alluded to in the media. I personally know of several former donors who have become fathers to some of their "gift" children, forming whatever relationship everyone is open to. Whenever my son hears about one of these men, he asks, "Why can't my donor be like that?!"

Well, I gave the donor a "now or never" choice: do you want to know your son or not? We have been waiting since April for some sign that he cares about Tyler. We are very tired of waiting. Closure is needed. Maybe he has signed off on us a long time ago, but we have been hoping for a breakthrough. His parents also wish he would accept Tyler as his son, and we could all be an extended family. Unfortunately, no one in his family will talk to him about his behavior. Who has parents who won't tell them what to do? He needs some guidance. Actually, another donor who has seven donor kids tried to contact him. He wanted to tell him how his kids have enriched his life, but our donor wouldn't talk to him. His Aspergers makes him impossible to get close to. We are on the brink of saying goodbye forever. Sad, but probably necessary for my son's mental health, not to mention mine.

I feel like this is just another instance of my choosing the wrong man. Even when I am choosing a sperm donor, I get one with Asperger's and a genetic aortic defect that not only impact my son but probably his children, as well. It is hard not to be a little bitter, though I wouldn't trade my son for any other!

Rebecca