Why Olde Salty's "No Screaming Children" Policy is a Total Joke

Olde Salty's
Olde Salty's

In case you haven't heard, a little restaurant on the Carolina shore is making waves in parenting circles all across the country. The Olde Salty restaurant in Carolina Beach, NC put a sign in its window (pictured) that reads, "Screaming Children Will NOT Be Tolerated." However, given the sea-faring name of the establishment, I can only assume crusty old one-legged pirates and weary, stinky fisherman are more than welcome. Last night on AC360, Anderson Cooper joked, "I'm wary of any restaurant named old-y," but many families are taking this whole thing quite seriously. Our friend KJ Dell'Antonia at Double X says the sign: ...creates an immediate atmosphere of hostility towards families, and it is, in itself, rude. No one minds a reminder with a little humor: Screaming children will be placated with a cup of coffee and a free puppy. But an angry directive demanding your courtesy reflects an aggression that goes far beyond what's warranted. This is a sign that comes out swinging before the poster is even certain that another boxer is going to enter the ring. Exactly. Which is why I think it's not worth being concerned about. The sign is rude - and classless - and any restaurant that is willing to hang an 8 1/2 x 11 piece of paper in its window with a warning printed in the back office is 1) not a place to get your panties in a bundle over, and 2) exactly the type of place families with restless kids should be eating in. I don't condone bad behavior in public, but we all know even the most well-behaved children are sometimes more boisterous than we'd like them to be. That doesn't mean families should be forced to stay home. Sure, there are places you don't want to bring your screaming kids: Nobu, Le Cirque, even The Olive Garden. But Olde Salty? Honestly, I'm surprised the sign isn't handwritten and misspelled.

The owner, Brenda Armes, says, "We want to attract the type of people that come in knowing they aren't going to have to sit behind a table with a bunch of screaming children." Funny, I think a great way to do that would be to create a fine-dining atmosphere in your restaurant, something posting virulent signs all over the place certainly doesn't do. (As much as I'm against breast cancer, the poster in your front window for the bachelor auction benefiting "Save the Ta-Tas" doesn't exactly scream high-end joint.) The point is, Olde Salty's policy against misbehaved children should really be the least of our worries. The AFP reported yesterday that 4 million children have died in the last decade unnecessarily because governments have not spread medical advances to the poor. Now that's something we should all be screaming about. If Olde Salty's was willing to host a fundraiser to fight child mortality, that would be newsworthy.