Worst. Doctor's Visit. Ever. How Does My Experience Compare to Yours?

Toy doctor's kit.Toy doctor's kit.Before I even get started, I'll go ahead and admit that no one was diagnosed with an incurable or serious illness. Nothing was sticking out of anyone's nose and we left with only a prescription in hand. In fact, I admit that using the word "worst" in the title of this post is an utter exaggeration. Still, it was pretty nasty.

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So, here's what happened: one of my children, who shall remain nameless to protect his privacy once he reaches the age when he can read these posts himself, recently began complaining of an itchy sensation around the, for lack of a better word, butthole. Of course, I could have said anus, but that's not nearly as fun. Anyway, the problem continued for a few days and became so uncomfortable that he actually woke up in the middle of the night to complain about it. So, I schlepped him to the doctor's office expecting to be sent off with no explanation other than, "your child needs to wipe better." Instead, I heard a word I never expected, or even knew, to hear.

Pinworms.

I hate creepy crawlies. I hate them even more when they've taken up residence in my child's behind. I must have turned about six shades of green because the doc hurriedly explained to me that pinworms are very common among children, particularly once they reach school age. Plus, they're easily curable with antibiotics.

Still, HOW GROSS IS THAT?

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According to WebMD, pinworms happen when a person comes in contact with pinworm eggs and then touches their mouth, nose, etc. However it happens, they enter the digestive system where the eggs mature, hatch baby pinworms and feast on undigested food. Eventually, they wind up around the anus, where the lady worms lay new eggs.

I'm about to gag just writing this, so I'll once again remind myself that pinworms are VERY COMMON, even among kids who wash their hands regularly. It's the only way I stay sane.

Needless to say, I practically boiled my sons sheets in hot water once we got home. Let this be a lesson to all of you: if one of your children complains of an itchy but, RUN to the nearest doctor's office. And then pour yourself a stiff drink or eat a pan of brownies, whichever makes you feel better. Or both, as in my case.

What's the grossest illness your child ever contracted? Did you lose your lunch just hearing about it?

This post was written by Alia Hoyt.

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