Aries (March 21 - April 19) The last thing you need is to be seen going slowly out the chute. You have your reputation to maintain, after all. But you just don't have any enthusiasm for the walk today. Try to drum up some false bravado.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) The best thing about a short memory is the ability to be enlightened by the same idea, again and again and again. It's someone else's turn for a change: namely, your human's. Enjoy watching the light bulbs go off.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21) You may not have any real hope, but go ahead and give it a try. Live as if the worst you can hear is a 'no' and chances are slim you'll be banished to the laundry room. Then beg away.
Cancer (June 22 - July 22) Your needs for attention and exercise are equally extreme. The only way your human will get any balance today is if they give you some first. Make it clear that quality walks can't wait.
Leo (July 23 - August 22) Begging, whining and barking might not make the best of impressions, but making a good impression isn't exactly your goal. When you see the 'make it stop' look on your owner's face, you'll know you've hit your target.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22) Sometimes barking for the sake of barking is the only thing that will satisfy you. Your owner can interpret you in whatever creative ways they wish, because getting your message across is the last thing on your mind.
Libra (September 23 - October 22) Everyone feels weird every now and then, even those with the utmost authority. So if you sense your alpha is having an off day, don't hesitate to cut them some slack. You'll be earning yourself an easy biscuit.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) You and your owner are bound to pull in opposite directions, but for once your owner will go your way. It's not that your way is better; it's just that they're in an excellent mood. You'd be a foolish dog not to take advantage of it.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) You're nothing if not direct. One look from your determined eyes can melt an iceberg. So if your human thinks ignoring you will make you go away, they're about to learn a humbling lesson.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) All eyes are on the alpha. Other dogs get the kudos today instead of you, but you're a big enough pooch to be happy for them. After all, you can see how hard they've been working for it.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) It takes all the discipline you can muster not to jump at the sound of the keys. But then again, why should you show that kind of restraint? Let your humans know you're game for the ride. Then enjoy.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20) There have been more than enough outings and walks for even your taste, believe it or not. You have a different kind of day in mind. You and your humans are taking it easy, and you're all actually enjoying it for a change.
Gregg Doyel flashed a heart sign at Caitlin Clark at her introductory press conference on Wednesday afternoon to kick off an incredibly strange back-and-forth.
