Aries (March 21 - April 19) It goes without saying meat is almost ruined by any kind of cooking, but you'd still wolf it down, even after some serious scorching. You'll get a piece just the way you like it today, raw, but only if you act fast. It pays to be impulsive.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) You live for power struggles with other dogs, but watching your owners go through them makes you squirm. Be tolerant, to a point, before deciding when to drag them away. Consider yourself the ultimate arbitrator.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21) Relax. Let your owners get into a bit of back and forth without getting your fur up about it. Trust your gut. You'll be able to tell the difference between some fun debating and something more serious if and when the time comes.
Cancer (June 22 - July 22) Begging under the table makes you feel like a bargain-basement dog. You deserve everything served on the tablecloth and then some. Let your humans know just how you feel. Go ahead, be outrageous.
Leo (July 23 - August 22) Your humans are your celebrities, and you're happy to bask in the warmth of their glow. But being one of their posse just isn't enough today. It may take some creativity, but be sure you spend some time with your real pack.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22) It's good not to brag, if you happen to walk upright. But for those without opposing thumbs, the more you strut your stuff, the better off you are. Some are beginning to treat you as the underdog. Go ahead, start showing off.
Libra (September 23 - October 22) All you can see is yourself, crowned alpha. But if you take a look at the bigger picture, the role might not be quite so appealing. Do you really want all the other dogs looking to you for answers? Maybe what you need is more along the lines of a tiara and a bow.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) Your human can be a bit of a problem sometimes. Not today. In fact, you'll be left to watch your back yourself. You might not be sure at first which is worse, but by the end of the day you'll most definitely have an opinion.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) You can be a very lucky dog today if you play your cards right. But a bit of caution is beneficial if you don't want to end up one of the three-legged, one-eyed variety.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) Something is bringing out the worst in your human, and it's not doggy business for a change. It's funny business, and there's nothing funny about it. But it's not up to you to save them this time, unless simply being your loving self counts.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) Some humans just expect too much from you if they want you to be wonderfully well behaved all the time. If you kept your impulses in check for five minutes, it would be extraordinary. Don't bother trying any harder or longer than that.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Scaring off an intruder is your best fantasy and it could become reality. Missing your big opportunity because you're too busy daydreaming about it would be the ultimate irony. Keep your mind from wandering.
Dan Wetzel, Ross Dellenger & SI’s Pat Forde react to the huge performance this weekend by Texas QB Arch Manning, Michigan and Notre Dame's spring games, Jaden Rashada entering the transfer portal, and more
