Aries (March 21 - April 19) You're used to using people to your advantage, but this doesn't make you a bad dog. It's not that you have opportunistic tendencies, it's that you have no opposable thumbs.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Your owner may not have a deep understanding of the dog mind -- he's too much of a preacher type of person. Continue to look at him blankly when he gives you a sermon, and he'll eventually start to see things from another perspective.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21) You don't understand how a partner can turn into an authority. Your owner is your friend one minute and your boss the next. It's confusing, but they can have things both ways. That's the way humans behave as alpha dogs.
Cancer (June 22 - July 22) You've been waiting patiently, but you're still kept tied to the signpost. Your owner may have to deal with something inside, or may just not feel like coming out yet. Either way, others may misinterpret your patience as acceptance. Let them know when you've had enough.
Leo (July 23 - August 22) Your owner wants to be the alpha dog. What arrogance! If you get your ego out of the way, you'll realize what a sweet deal he's offering. You won't lose any self-respect if you reconsider.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22) You just don't understand the whole house-training thing. Your owners have the dedication to make it work, but they're being critical instead of creative. If they offer the right incentive instead of a scolding, their (and your) hard work will pay off.
Libra (September 23 - October 22) You and the cat nod, 'we have a plan.' You both watch out the window for your owner's return. You're feeling sentimental about their absence, but the Sun is not a good place to be in if you want to stay awake.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) What you lack in self-control you make up for in ambition. You want to hold it until you're in the yard, so don't wait to ask until the last second. Make sure you and your owner work together when it comes to communicating.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) Another dog wants what you have, and they approach it in a direct manner. That's not unusual for a dog, but you're not in the business of philanthropy. Growl right back if you want to keep what's rightfully yours.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) You're an old dog who has learned new tricks, and you impress others with your accomplishments. A pat on the head and a treat are the recognition that you've been working so hard to achieve.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) Your owner has a shrill new whistle meant to discipline you, and it hurts your ears. They'll get bored with it soon enough if you keep your head down and pretend you don't know what's happening.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Your owners are rocking a bundle as if it's an angel descending to touch the Earth. You don't know what all the fuss is about. Insist on your share of attention if they suddenly act as if a dog is just a dog.
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