Happy National Cat Day! in Defense of the Cat Lady

Sandra Ballentine


Vogue, June 1, 1958
Vogue, June 1, 1958

As my ex-boyfriend, Robert, approached a milestone birthday, I racked my brain trying to come up with a suitable gift for the man who has, well, a lot. I couldn't afford a Magritte, and a case of '61 Haut Brion was equally out of the question. Then it dawned on me. I would commission an artist to paint our children, Tatters and Ally, who happen to be Bengal cats.

I knew it wouldn't be easy. Getting the girls to sit still for more than dinner is no mean feat, and they are Garbo-like in their refusal to cooperate with photographers. But then I met Dare Johnson Wenzler, a Washington, D.C., artist who paints portraits of her four-legged subjects from photos, even hastily snapped iPhone shots.

See more: Vogue staffers share their cat pictures

The concept evolved quickly: Robert is English, we think our cats are princesses, and I had just finished reading Hilary Mantel's Bring up the Bodies. So I decided that Ally should be Elizabeth I, and her sister, Tatters, should be Mary, Queen of Scots. Ally has wanted to send her sister to the guillotine more than once, so the casting was apt. Wenzler enthusiastically went to work researching the two queens and came up with period-appropriate wardrobe and jewelry for each kitty.

About now you're thinking, This woman is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, and a crazy cat lady, to boot. Guilty as charged. But tell me, why is it de rigeur for dog owners to flaunt their feelings for Fido in public, while a lot of cat lovers feel the need to stay closeted? No one blinks an eye when my friend Todd festoons his Jack Russell in Chanel pearls, or when another friend, Melanie, plasters Facebook with photos of her English bulldog wearing funny hats. Why can't I dress my darlings in Elizabethan outfits once in a while?

As a writer who makes personal revelations for a living, I've come clean on all manner of weight, relationship, and self-esteem issues. But until now, no one outside my close circle of friends and family had an inkling about how obsessed I am with cats in general, and my cats in particular. We've had our ups and downs. Like when Ally (the foodie of the litter) mistook my new Blahniks for a snack. Or when Tatters peed in my suitcase (and on a favorite Lanvin dress) to protest my imminent departure for Brazil. And we'll never forget the time they both decided that the Donald Judd aluminum stack sculpture in the living room was a climbing wall. Still, nothing brings a smile to my face faster than those lovely little fur balls.

See more: From the Archives: Cats in Vogue

Thankfully, style titans like Grace Coddington and Karl Lagerfeld have helped make felines more fashionable. We've all heard how Lagerfeld's fluffy white Birman, Choupette, is so spoiled that she has two maids. But she's got nothing on Tatters and Ally, who have gone through three housekeepers in four years. Let's just say that none of them was the cat's meow. Nor was the cat whisperer who we hired to help Tatters work through a few behavioral issues. All of us saw right through the whisperer, who left with her tail between her legs.

Over the years, we've lavished the girls with material things-an eleven-foot-tall cubby tree, miniature eiderdowns, roast organic chicken on demand, a custom-made copper "catio" where the peoples' terrace used to be-nothing was too good for them. Including their parents, as it turned out. Because as much as they liked their tree (and really liked that chicken), the only thing they ever really wanted from us was us. And once we got that straight, and got rid of the nanny, it was only a matter of time before we realized that we depend on them as much as they depend on us. A lesson in the obvious, you might say, but sometimes we humans just don't see things until they swat us playfully in the face.

Sandra Ballentine is a writer living in New York City. She last wrote about new facelift technology for the August issue of
Vogue.

See more from Vogue:
Best Met Gala Looks of All Time
Michelle Obama's Best-Dressed Moments
The Sexiest You: Lingerie Guide
Paris Street Style and How to Wear It Yourself