Non-costume pet costumes
Halloween can put a lot of pressure on the pet owner. Not only do you have to come up with a clever costume for yourself, but you've got think of one for the dog, too – one he won't hate, or eat, or ruin in a puddle. (If you have a dog; cat owners don't even bother.)
And there's always that one super-competitive neighbor who dresses her Westie as the entire So You Think You Can Dance judging panel somehow. It's just too much, right?
Well, we've got a solution. It's cheap, it's easy, and it requires no crafting or drafting skills. Ready? Okay: Google your breed or color/markings of pet; find a pop-culture example; tell everyone he's dressed as that example for Halloween. It's the non-costume costume! Boom, done, next problem.
Own a canary? He's Tweety. German Shepherd? She's Rin Tin Tin. "Stout" grey tabby? William Howard Taft. (It's the whiskers that sell it.) (But on a serious note, please check in with your vet if your cat is very overweight. Okay, back to the bad puns.)
Still not feeling inspired? We've got a few ideas that might help. To work with the pre-costumed pets you might already have, read on!
If you have an orange cat
Lots and lots of options for the orange-feline aficionado. You can go with Morris; Garfield, if your ginger is portly and likes lasagna; or Tonto, from the fine film Harry and Tonto, but most people haven't heard of that movie, and the ones that have probably cried at the end of it.
I live with an orange-and-white cat myself. His costume this year? "Melted creamsicle." If your cat is a very bright orange, you can try "traffic cone."
If you have a St. Bernard
You may not want to alienate friends and film fans by pretending your dog is Cujo for the day, in which case we'd suggest Beethoven (from the movies) or "a Swiss rescue dog" instead. Just keep "Jo" out of the brandy.
If you have a chihuahua
Avoid the Taco Bell comparisons with an old-school reference to Xavier Cugat and his dog "Pepito" (he had his own book, Pepito the Little Dancing Dog! So maybe teach your little buddy a shuffle-ball-change first). Or keep it more current: Ren from Ren & Stimpy, or Coco, Donna Cabonna's dog on That's So Raven.
And if your petite pooch is super-well-behaved, presto: Coco, Cesar Millan's dog.
If you have a tuxedo cat
The black cat with white bib and paws is always impeccably dressed, so on Halloween, he's James Bond -- or, if you're concerned about his involvement in dangerous car chases on the Riviera, a crisp maitre d'. Any other tuxedo-wearing function, or functionary, will do (George Clooney; a prom date; the groom).
If you have a (pot-bellied) pig
Your luck with getting her to herd sheep may vary, but she's got her Babe costume all ready to go -- or her Wilbur costume, if you're a Charlotte's Web fan.
If you have a golden Labrador
Naughtier Labs can "dress" as Marley from Marley & Me; Michigan State grads can go with Zeke the Wonder Dog; or, if you feel really ambitious and also happen to own a Seal Point Siamese cat and an English bull terrier, you can recreate The Incredible Journey with your pets. (But not the part where you leave town and they have to travel the country to find you.)
If you have a collie
That's a slam dunk: Lassie. (Bonus points if one of your kids is named "Timmy.") Chances are you've gotten sick of that reference by now, though, so why not try Lad: A Dog?
If you have a gecko
It's probably a stretch without the walking on the back legs and the British accent, but the Geico spokeslizard is the perfect costume for your reptile.
If you have one hundred and one Dalmatians
...then you are a crazy person who has no time for bagatelles like the internet. Go...walk something polka-dotted!
Who'd we leave out? What zero-minute costume ideas have you used for YOUR pets? Any famous pugs, parrots, or Persians you've claimed your pets are dressed as? Tell us in the comments! (We like pictures, BTW.)
