7 Wildly Entertaining Royal Baby Rumors—Debunked!

Prince William and Kate MiddletonPrince William and Kate MiddletonIf reports are to be believed, Kate Middleton is binging on curry in the middle of a Palace prenatal yoga session AS WE SPEAK

By Michelle Ruiz

These beautiful blue-blooded people are having a baby and waiting for its arrival is making the world lose its collective marbles. All manner of tall tales and wild rumors are circulating about Kate Middleton, Prince William and their Royal Baby. Kindly allow us to separate fact from fiction...

RUMOR 1: The Daily Mail believes Kate's determined to give birth naturally, and to prepare, is looking into "hypnobirthing," including "visualization and breathing techniques" on top of private Palace yoga sessions.

TRUTH-O-METER: Questionable. Kate's a former field hockey star and rower-is she really into all of that exercise ball/Kourtney Kardashian birthing tub sh*t?

RUMOR 2: Kate and Will themselves supposedly don't know the sex of His or Her Royal Highness. But E! totally knows what Kate is packing in her hospital bag, or at least they're making a few suggestions: "a dressing gown and slippers, nightshirts, pajamas, socks and T-shirts (front-opening shirts are recommended because they're useful in the early days of breast-feeding), nursing bras and an outfit for both mom and baby to wear home from the hospital."

TRUTH-O-METER: Open-front shirts-that's adorable-but we suspect Kate and Royal Baby will leave the Lindo Wing in outfits currently being spun from Welsh gold at the Alexander McQueen atelier. Also: tiaras.

RUMOR 3: We present without comment, ℅ of UK's Daily Mirror: "William and Kate's first child will be the 23rd cousin twice-removed of Beyoncé and Jay-Z's baby Blue Ivy, according to ancestry researchers."

TRUTH-O-METER: Obviously true.

RUMOR 4: The Royal Baby is already so evolved, it knows not to come when its dad is playing polo. "Speculation that the Duchess of Cambridge is expecting an early birth has been quashed after it emerged that Prince William plans to play in a charity polo match on Sunday," the Daily Mail reported over the weekend.

TRUTH-O-METER: Make no mistake, the Royal Prince/Princess will emerge from the womb sparkling like Robert Pattinson and boasting a Mensa-level IQ, but he/she waits for no one.

RUMOR 5: Royal Fetus is a girl and it's going to be named Alexandra (the Queen's middle name). Because this chalkboard outside St. Mary's Hospital-and the nation's bookies-say so.

TRUTH-O-METER: Close. The Royal Babe will be a girl, but it will be named Diana… because WE, her biggest fans, say so.

RUMOR 6: Kate is binging on Indian food, as curry is said to speed up birth. A shop owner in her family's village of Berkshire has allegedly betrayed her trust and spilled to UK's The Sun that Kate "said she had a craving so I made her a big batch to take away with rice and flatbreads."

TRUTH-O-METER: This can't be true, because Kate would never darken the door of a convenience store.

RUMOR 7: Kate has stocked up on mad baby loot, including Stroller of the Stars, "the Bugaboo Cameleon3 special edition in jewel blue with black and white stripes," per ABC News.

TRUTH-O-METER: We buy this, but it's confusing. Shouldn't Royal Baby be transported strictly via unicorn-drawn sapphire-encrusted carriage?

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