5 Spring Fashion and Beauty Trends We Pray Won't Catch On

Pop quiz time: What's more disgusting than those women in the Guinness Book of World Records whose fingernails twirl around themselves like miscreant Cirque du Soleil contortionists? Answer: These fancy-pants toe claws that are currently featured in the pages of "Vogue."

We are talking "Vogue" magazine here, people, the bastion of all that's good and true in fashion! To be fair, these toenail beasts were featured in the Italian Vogue, and those Europeans are more "avant garde" than we simple Americans and all, but still.

Related: The Best and Worst Nail, Hair, and Makeup Trends of All Time

I don't about you, but I've watched my fair share of "America's Next Top Model" episodes and while the "Vogue" Italia editrix, Franca Sozani, clearly knows her way around a photo shoot and casting call, she must have had a poco too much vino with dinner the night the art director slipped this image by her. What other excuse is there?

While I've made my take on terrifying toe claws abundantly clear, here, for kicks, are a couple of other "trends" I'm praying don't catch on:

ONE: Miley Cyrus' Mom/President Obama jeans. Say what you want about the fallen pop princess and her odd taste in birthday cakes, but THOSE JEANS! Not only do they hurt my eyes, they make my liver feel all squished. See our favorite clothing and makeup pairings here.

TWO: Bleached eyebrows. This one has been circling the runway elite for a few seasons now, but unless you're that chick from Mama Mia or a stand-alone Make Me Up Barbie head, you need to have color in your brows. Period. (See? Even Adriana Lima looks bad.) See the best and worst celebrity brows here.

THREE: Wedge sneakers. I know I cut a lot of gym classes as a teen, but isn't the whole point in wearing sneakers so that you can run in them?

Related:Beauty on the Streets: How to Wear Runway Trends

FOUR: Skipping the mascara. Really? Who thinks this stuff up? Clearly not anyone who's ever looked in the mirror with mascara on just one eye. See how to wear natural makeup the right way here.

FIVE: Slicked-back hair. Yeah, yeah, it was all over the runways for spring (like here at BCBG) but when you slick back only part of your hair and leave the rest loose, it just looks dirty. C'mon, someone had to say it. See the 7 runway hairstyles that we will copy here.

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