9 Things You Should and Should Never Do when Getting a Massage

By Cheryl Wischhover

Thinking of treating yourself to a massage? Before you strip down and hit the table, there are a few rules of etiquette you should heed. ELLE.com chatted with several massage therapists (all of their names have been changed for confidentiality purposes), who shared some of the worst client behavior they've seen. Keep reading for sage advice on how to navigate the awkward ordeal of being naked under a towel with a complete stranger:

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DON'T call your massage therapist a "masseuse": Massage therapists have worked hard to shake off the lingering assumption that a "happy ending" is a legitimate request during a massage. All four therapists agreed that the term "masseuse" is generally icky and has sexual connotations.

DON'T worry about your hairy legs: "Women come in and apologize for not shaving their legs. I don't care at all. It happens almost everyday," says Eliza, a therapist with four years of experience in gym and high-end spa settings. "What I usually say is, 'Most men don't shave their legs and I'm just as happy to work on them.' Unless your hair is razor sharp, it doesn't bother me."

DO shower before your massage: This seems to be setting-specific. Ethan, a therapist with three years experience treating private clients, works primarily with athletes. "I do sports massage so I'm used to people on the table post-marathon. I don't care if you're really sweaty," he said. Eliza, on the other hand, cares a little bit. "It's just a common courtesy to rinse off. You don't have to spend hours in there washing," she says. "But imagine you're going to go sit in a tiny room with someone for an hour. Wouldn't you shower beforehand if you've just been working out?"

DO pay attention to your feet: "In the summertime when my clients come over to my house, I have them sit in my tub and wash their feet," Eliza says. "I don't want to be touching [dirt], and I don't want to be spreading that all over your body either." William, a therapist with four years of experience treating clients in both private and physical therapy settings, has seen some more serious foot issues. "I don't want to embarrass anyone or hurt their feelings. If someone comes in with difficult feet, I'll work through the sheet," he says. "One guy came in with filthy Crocs on over the summer and said, 'Be careful, there's a fissure on my foot.' I am not going to touch that! I referred that guy to a podiatrist."

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DON'T get a massage when you're sick: "If you're sick, don't come in. It's commission-based work," Ethan explains. "If I get sick for a week, I'm not getting paid for a week. That's a drag. It's happened to me."

DO tip handsomely: In a spa setting, massage therapists get about 30% to 40% of the total price of the massage. (Although one therapist said she gets paid $35 on a $250 massage at an upscale spa.) This sounds like a lot for an hourly rate, but most therapists only actively massage for 20 to 30 hours a week. "It's hard on the body and it breaks you down," Ethan says. A 20% to 25% tip is customary, except when you're getting a session from a private therapist, in which case they keep the entire massage fee so tipping isn't necessary.

DO anticipate the butt massage: Every time I get a massage I anxiously await that moment when the therapist either goes for my glutes with gusto, or skips that area altogether. "It's fair game. There's a lot of tissue that needs to be worked there," Eliza says. "Some people are uncomfortable because it's their butt, something they don't usually expose to anybody. It's up to the client. You can say, 'Please don't work on my butt or my hips.'" If you want your therapist to stay away from your booty, she suggests keeping your undies on. It signals "ass off limits.

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DO communicate: Even if the goal of your massage is simply to relax and forget about your overflowing inbox for an hour, be upfront with your therapist about any medical issues you have. Joan, who has 15 years of experience and teaches at a prestigious massage therapy school, says that while massage is generally safe, it can be very dangerous for some people. "Having a good sense of what's going on with your body helps me make the best choices for you. People make the assumption that massage can do no harm, and that's mostly true, but there are definitely situations where massage can be harmful," she says. "The most dangerous are circulatory issues, like a blood clot sitting in a limb. Herniated discs are bad, too." Therapists don't appreciate when you try to micromanage your massage, but feel free to speak up. "I would much prefer someone who says too much or is too demanding than someone who says absolutely nothing," Eliza says. "I have no way of knowing what they want. A lot of people say, 'You're the expert,' but I can't be inside your body and feel what you're feeling. You have to tell me."

DON'T communicate too much: When William made a client aware of a bruise she had, it was taken as an opportunity to divulge a rather active and creative post-divorce sex life. Needless to say, he redirected the conversation back to the massage therapy session at hand. Save the bedroom talk for your girlfriends over cosmos, okay?

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