A Guy's-Eye View of the Sock Bun Trend
By Patrick Varone, REDBOOK.
At first I wasn't quite sure what the sock bun actually was. But, after being sent a picture of Kim Kardashian's hair pulled as tight as the face of daddy Bruce, I knew I had stumbled upon something else I can blame the Kardashian's for--you know, besides the demise of society as we know it.
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Anyone I talk to about this hair trend tells me how easy it is to do. One person even said it's as easy as putting your socks on your feet. After a quick side-eye, I decided to look this up on the Internet. Evidently all you need for this hairstyle is a sock, scissors, and about five minutes. Also, you should be glad I looked it up for you, because Googling "socks, scissors, women," will definitely get you added to the "No Fly" list. I'm pretty sure I need to cancel my ticket home for the holidays now.
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The only thing that really scares me about this look is that eventually it will feel like we're in a sea of Stepford Wives--and not in a good way. I imagine being chased by thousands of disgruntled little ballerina girls who want to sell me cookies of some sort. (I'll have two boxes of Thin Mints.) But maybe my biggest problem is that sometimes it just looks too tight and severe. Keep it loose and messy, and it won't look like you tried too hard.
Also, I know everyone is jumping on the sock bun bandwagon, but let's just say what it really is. It's the new Bump-It, and you know it. At least the Bump-It was a plastic contraption, though, this is a sock in your hair. It's just taking what Snooki gave us in 2009 and bringing it to the next level. It's really a snowball effect: plastic yesterday, socks today, and next thing you know, you're stashing a wireless router up there and becoming a human hot-spot.
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Then again, who am I to judge? If you want to toss a Hanes tube sock in your hair and head on out into the world, go for it. I'm sure it serves multiple purposes, too, like a place to hold your keys, lipstick, and maybe even some jewels that you may or may not be smuggling into the country. Gretchen Weiners' hair was big because it was full of secrets. Yours will be big because it's holding the relocated contents of your purse.
At the end of the day, you should be able to change up your look any which way you like. Do what you feel, and don't listen to me. In sixth grade, I wore all my clothes backwards like Kris Kross, signed up for a lip-syncing contest, and performed "Jump." The point is that I thought I looked good and, well, I felt good. It didn't matter that I was an 4'5" skinny white boy--I owned it. And if you want to place cut-up socks in your hair, well then you just go right ahead on and do it. Do it for the Miggity-Miggity-Miggity-Miggity Mack Daddy. Just don't do it because Kim Kardashian is subliminally making you.
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