It’s October 3rd, so Here’s What to Eat at Your Requisite Mean Girls Viewing
On October 3rd, 2004, Aaron Samuels asked Cady what day it was. Nearly a decade later, we'll seize any excuse to revisit the ultimate "new classic" chick flick. Rally your Plastics, don your army pants and flip-flops, and stream it in the projection room above the auditorium -- with a side of cheese fries. That's just, like, the rules of feminism.
"On Wednesdays, we wear pink."
And on Thursdays, we imbibe it. After all, if you're going to drink, Mrs. George would rather you do it in the house.
Pink Elephant Signature Cocktail
16 to 20 ounces vodka
4 to 5 ounces fresh lime juice
4 to 5 ounces fresh lemonade
8 to 10 ounces grapefruit juice
2 to 2 1/2 ounces cranberry juice
Lime slices (cut very thin), for garnish
1. Mix all but the cranberry juice in a 2 1/2-quart pitcher. Then add the cranberry juice a little at a time until drink is the color of light-pink cotton candy. Refrigerate until serving time. To serve, pour over ice into chilled 6-ounce glasses. Garnish with thin lime slices (or pink plastic elephants).
"She's totally rich because her dad invented toaster strudel."
That's why her pastry dough is so flaky. It's full of secrets.
Cinnamon-Sugar Pastry Pockets
3 cups all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled), plus more for working
1 teaspoon coarse salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg, lightly beaten, plus 1 egg yolk, lightly beaten
1/4 cup whole milk
1/4 cup sliced almonds
1 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
1/4 cup light-brown sugar
1 tablespoon plus 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1. In a large bowl, whisk together flour and salt. In another large bowl, using an electric mixer, beat butter and granulated sugar on high, scraping down bowl as needed, until light and fluffy, about 4 minutes. Add whole egg and beat to combine. Beat in half the flour mixture, then milk and remaining flour mixture. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured work surface and gently knead to combine. Divide dough in half. Lightly flour a large piece of parchment paper and roll out 1 dough piece to a 9-by-12-inch rectangle. Repeat with remaining dough and another piece parchment. Refrigerate until firm, 30 minutes.
2. In a food processor, pulse almonds until coarsely chopped. Add 3/4 cup confectioners' sugar, brown sugar, 1 tablespoon cinnamon, and 5 teaspoons water; pulse until combined. Remove 1 dough sheet from refrigerator and cut into twelve 2-by-4 1/2-inch rectangles. Spread half with 1 heaping teaspoon almond mixture each, leaving a 1/2-inch border. Brush edges with yolk; top with remaining dough pieces. With the tines of a fork, crimp edges firmly. Brush tops with yolk. Repeat with remaining dough.
3. Chill pastries on two rimmed baking sheets until firm, 30 minutes (or up to 1 day). Preheat oven to 350 degrees, with racks in upper and lower thirds. Bake until edges are golden, 20 minutes, rotating sheets halfway through. Let cool completely on sheets on wire racks.
4. In a bowl, whisk together 3/4 cup confectioners' sugar, 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon, and 5 teaspoons water. With an offset spatula or table knife, spread glaze over pockets. Let set 5 minutes.
See More Kicked-Up Breakfast Pastries
"Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries."
Raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimized by subpar cheese sauce. It's a life ruiner. It ruins people's lives.
Nacho Cheese Sauce
1/3 cup vegetable oil
2 1/2 cups minced red onion
4 jalapenos, minced
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
2 cups heavy cream
3/4 cup lager-style beer
4 cups grated cheddar cheese (about 1 pound)
4 cups grated Monterey Jack cheese (about 1 pound)
3 tomatoes, chopped
Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper
1. Heat oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add onion, jalapenos, cumin, chili powder, and cayenne pepper; cook, stirring, until onion is very soft, about 6 minutes. Add flour and cook, stirring, 1 to 2 minutes.
2. Slowly add cream and beer; cook, stirring, until thickened, about 5 minutes. Add both cheeses and tomatoes; cook, stirring, until melted and well combined.
3. Remove from heat and season with salt and pepper; serve immediately with nachos.
"Four for Glen Coco. You go, Glen Coco!"
Mmm, your face smells like peppermint! Eighth grade revenge has never been sweeter.
Candy-Cane Marshmallows
Vegetable-oil cooking spray
2 cups sugar
1 tablespoon light corn syrup
4 packages (1/4 ounce each) unflavored gelatin
3/4 teaspoon peppermint extract
2 large egg whites
2 teaspoons red food coloring
1. Coat an 8-inch square pan with cooking spray; line bottom with parchment paper. Coat the parchment with cooking spray, and set pan aside. Put sugar, corn syrup, and 3/4 cup water in a small saucepan. Cook over medium heat, stirring, until sugar is dissolved. Stop stirring; let mixture come to a boil. Raise heat to medium-high; cook until mixture registers 260 degrees on a candy thermometer.
2. Meanwhile, sprinkle gelatin over 3/4 cup water in a heatproof bowl; let stand 5 minutes to soften. Set the bowl with the gelatin mixture over a pan of simmering water; whisk constantly until gelatin is dissolved. Remove from heat, and stir in extract; set aside.
3. Beat egg whites in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment until stiff (but not dry) peaks form. Whisk gelatin mixture into sugar mixture; with mixer running, gradually add to egg whites. Mix on high speed until very thick, 12 to 15 minutes.
4. Pour mixture into lined pan. Working quickly, drop dots of red food coloring across surface of marshmallow. Using a toothpick, swirl food coloring into marshmallow to create a marbleized effect. Let marshmallow stand, uncovered, at room temperature until firm, at least 3 hours or overnight. Cut into squares.
"I can't go to Taco Bell. I'm on an all-carb diet."
Want to lose three pounds? These healthy tacos are a better choice than Kalteen bars. If they don't work, you could try Sears.
Lighter Beef Tacos
1 teaspoon vegetable oil, such as safflower
1 large onion, chopped
2 bell peppers (ribs and seeds removed), chopped
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 tablespoons tomato paste
2 teaspoons chili powder
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
Coarse salt and ground pepper
3/4 pound ground beef sirloin
12 soft corn tortillas (6-inch)
Store-bought salsa and shredded iceberg lettuce, for serving
1. In a large nonstick skillet, heat oil over medium. Add onion and bell peppers; cook until crisp-tender, 3 to 5 minutes. Add 1 cup water; cook until water has evaporated and vegetables are softened, 3 to 5 minutes.
2. Add garlic, tomato paste, chili powder, and cumin; season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring, 1 minute. Add beef. Cook, breaking up meat with a wooden spoon, until no longer pink, about 5 minutes. Season taco filling with salt and pepper. To serve, spoon filling onto tortillas, top with salsa and lettuce, and fold to enclose.
"YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US!"
Sweatpants on Monday are a no-no -- but a pretty cheese plate might earn you an invite back. (So you agree? You think they're really pretty?)
Learn How to Build the Perfect Cheese Plate
"Made out with a hot dog? That was one time!"
Stop trying to make burgers happen. They're not going to happen. Mr. Duvall would leave the South Side for this Chi-style frank.
How to Build a Chicago Dog
6 split hot dog buns
3 tablespoons melted unsalted butter
1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon poppy seeds
6 all-beef hot dogs
6 dill pickle spears
12 tomato wedges
Yellow mustard
Sweet relish
1 small white onion, finely chopped
6 sport peppers or peperoncini
Celery salt
1. Brush outsides of buns with butter; sprinkle with poppy seeds.
2. Bake, split sides down, at 350 degrees until warm, about 5 minutes.
3. Warm hot dogs in boiling water for 5 minutes; transfer to buns.
4. Arrange a dill pickle spear on 1 side of each hot dog and 2 tomato wedges on the other side.
5. Squirt yellow mustard over each in a zigzag; top with a dollop of sweet relish.
6. Divide onion among hot dogs.
7. Top each with a sport pepper or a peperoncino. Sprinkle with celery salt.
"I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy."
Let it out, honey -- put it in the batter. Wait, do you even go to this school?
Rainbow Cake
Vegetable shortening
3 cups all-purpose flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 sticks (1 cup) unsalted butter, room temperature
2 1/3 cups sugar
5 large egg whites, room temperature
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups milk, room temperature
Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple gel food coloring
Lemony Swiss Meringue Buttercream
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush six 9-inch-round cake pans (or as many 9-inch cake pans as you have, reusing them as necessary) with shortening. Line bottom of each cake pan with parchment paper; brush again and set aside.
2. In a large bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder and salt; set aside. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream together butter and sugar. Slowly add egg whites and mix until well combined. Add vanilla and mix until fully incorporated. Add flour mixture and milk in two alternating additions, beginning with the flour and ending with the milk. Mix until well combined.
3. Divide batter evenly between six medium bowls. Add enough of each color of food coloring to each bowl, whisking, until desired shade is reached. Transfer each color to an individual cake pan. Transfer to oven and bake until a cake tester inserted into the center of each cake comes out clean, about 15 minutes (working in batches if necessary).
4. Remove cakes from oven and transfer to a wire rack; let cool for 10 minutes. Invert cakes onto a wire rack; re-invert and let cool completely.
5. Using a serrated knife, trim tops of cakes to make level. Place four strips of parchment paper around perimeter of a serving plate or lazy Susan. Place the purple layer on the cake plate. Spread a scant 1 cup buttercream filling over the first layer with a small offset spatula so it extends just beyond edges. Repeat process with blue, green, yellow, and orange layers.
6. Place the remaining red layer on top, bottom-side up. Gently sweep away any loose crumbs with a pastry brush. Using an offset spatula, cover the top and sides with a thin layer of frosting (also use any of the excess frosting visible between the layers). Refrigerate until set, about 30 minutes.
7. Using an offset spatula, cover cake again with remaining frosting.
"The limit does not exist!"
Joining the Mathletes is social suicide -- unless you've got MC skills like Kevin Gnapoor (or Snoop Lion). A number-themed cake is the perfect finale. Sorry people are so jealous of you, but you can't help it that you're popular.
"Who's Counting?" Birthday Cake
For the cakes:
4 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature, plus more for baking sheets and parchment
9 cups sifted cake flour (not self-rising), plus more for parchment
1/4 cup baking powder
Salt
3 cups whole milk
3 tablespoons pure vanilla extract
4 1/2 cups sugar
14 large egg whites, room temperature
For Decorating:
Swiss Meringue Buttercream
2 pounds multicolored candy-coated chocolates (mymms.com)
1. Make the cakes: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter two 12-by-17-inch rimmed baking sheets. Line with parchment. Butter parchment, and dust with flour, tapping out excess. Sift flour, baking powder, and 1 1/2 teaspoons salt into a bowl.
2. Combine milk and vanilla. Beat butter with a mixer on medium speed until very smooth. With machine running, gradually add sugar, and beat until pale and fluffy, about 3 minutes.
3. Reduce speed to low. Add flour mixture in 3 additions, alternating with milk mixture, beginning and ending with flour. Beat until just combined; do not overmix.
4. Beat egg whites in a clean mixer bowl on medium speed until stiff peaks form, about 3 minutes. Gently fold egg whites into batter in 3 additions.
5. Transfer batter to baking sheets, smoothing tops with an offset spatula. Bake until tops spring back when pressed with a finger and a toothpick inserted into the centers comes out clean, about 30 minutes. Let cool in sheets on wire racks for 15 minutes. Loosen edges of cakes with a small metal spatula or paring knife; invert onto racks. Discard parchment. To prevent splitting, reinvert cakes, top side up. Let cool completely.
6. Decorate the cakes: Place "20" stencil (or another number) onto 1 cake, setting numbers side by side. Secure with toothpicks. Cut around each stencil using a paring knife. Remove scraps. Repeat with remaining cake.
7. Spread 2 cups buttercream onto the "2," and spread 2 cups buttercream onto the "0." Top each number with remaining matching cake number, and frost tops and sides of each with remaining buttercream. Cover each cake with rows of candies.
More from Martha Stewart:
10 New Ways to Use Leftover Bacon Grease
35 Beyond Delicious No-Bake Dessert Recipes
Quick, One-Pot Meal Ideas To Feed the Whole Family
Healthy Afternoon Snacks You'll Dream About All Day
Bonus treat: ballpark-style caramel corn. It's like you have ESPN or something.
