Aries (March 21 - April 19) Expect a maddening day of sheer frustration. But don't pull out what little hair you have left. Do whatever it takes to get to your happy place. If that means scarfing down a couple of Three Musketeers or Snickers bars, then so be it.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Don't be jealous of a coworker who gets all the praise today. They deserve it whereas you, well, maybe not. Get revenge by screwing with their lunch. But don't eat their homemade burgundy beef. Just run your tongue all over it and put it back.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21) The first effects of a cold will have you running for the chicken soup today. You can boost its cold-fighting effects by adding garlic and hot pepper sauce. Garlic is a proven infection fighter, while the spicy sauce will break up nasty congestion.
Cancer (June 22 - July 22) Acting like an expert about things you're unsure of will cost you today. So stick with what you know. You'll be at a loss if you brag that you make a killer coq au vin. But tell them that you make an awesome meatloaf and you can actually prove it!
Leo (July 23 - August 22) You may lack the comprehension to analyze things deeply today. So you may have to fake it until lunch. Fuel your brain with won ton soup and a spicy Vietnamese chicken sandwich. You'll zap back into shape and be able to take off the dunce cap.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22) Your unpredictable emotions could set the tone for the day. But you can control your moods by starting the day with a good breakfast. A couple of eggs sunny side up could put a smile on your face that will stay with you all day long.
Libra (September 23 - October 22) Money will be tight until payday. So stop wasting cash on high priced energy drinks. Most of them contain high amounts of sugar that give the illusion of boosted energy. Drink plain water instead, and get your sugar buzz from real fruit.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) You'll be like the Phoenix rising from the ashes today! A power-packed lunch of veggie soup and grilled salmon rice bowl will give you a regeneration of energy. You'll finish the day with a bang and look forward to doing it all over again tomorrow.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) In your dreams you're imprisoned in a castle made of chocolate and gingerbread. Escape will be easy; you can eat you way out. But the question is: do you really want to break out, especially when the bars to your cell are made of candy canes?
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) Making all the right decisions today will come in handy as you ponder dinner. You'll ultimately choose a little diner over a trendy four-star. Not because it's cheaper, mind you, but because their chicken fried steak is killer!
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) Career setbacks may have you thinking of changing jobs. But don't make that decision instinctively, or on an empty stomach. Ponder it over a steak and breaded shrimp dinner. You may see things a lot clearer afterwards.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Don't sign your name to anything today. You may not know what you're getting into. The only thing you'll want to sign will be the bill after you've enjoyed shrimp jambalaya and a few glasses of wine at the seafood restaurant.
Charles McDonald and Nate Tice's latest mock draft has five quarterbacks off the board in the top 13, a big-time weapon for Aaron Rodgers and some steals in the second half of the first round.