Aries (March 21 - April 19) Monday, Monday -- just can't trust that day. Be prepared to duck and cover as this first day of the week dumps on you with extreme prejudice. Take solace in the fact that you've got weapons to help you through, and a few cups of chamomile tea can at least soften the blow.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) You constantly preach the gospel of healthy eating, but today you may see things from a different perspective. A stressful day could have you thinking about food therapy, and a hot fudge sundae or a thick cheeseburger might seem awfully appealing. Don't beat yourself up if you give in to those cravings; after all, you're only human.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21) Undercurrents of tension filter throughout the office today. No one is immune to its wicked effects and many may succumb. You're as cool as a cucumber, seemingly oblivious to the tsunami of stress. A cup of organic chamomile tea can do that for a person, as can savoring a few slivers of dark Belgian chocolate.
Cancer (June 22 - July 22) Hallelujah -- it's National Pie Day! Where should you even start? Go for something decadent that's freshly baked, either by you or by someone who knows their pie. Lemon or dark chocolate meringue could be a bit complicated for your meager talents, so check out that neighborhood bakery that delivers every time.
Leo (July 23 - August 22) Your commitment to a new fitness routine is admirable, but throwing it in people's faces is not. You could come across looking like a hypocrite today -- your post-workout chocolate latte and bagel and cream cheese isn't exactly the meal of champions. An egg white omelet with a side of fruit might give you more credibility.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22) You're shot out of a cannon today, and the things you could accomplish are amazing. Reward yourself for all of your hard work by treating yourself to a special food treat. That could be crab-stuffed ravioli at your favorite Italian joint, or homemade stir-fry Thai prawns with tomato and basil. Whatever you decide, bon appetit!
Libra (September 23 - October 22) Authority figures bedevil and frustrate you today. Unfortunately, you're forced to take it, because lashing back could cost you your job. Having a bowl of alphabet soup could be a good way to vent, and you can spell out the words in little noodle letters that you don't dare say in public.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) The business outlook for today is favorable, so go ahead and sign on the dotted line when it comes to lucrative deals and investments. Then the next thing you want to sign is the credit card bill for the celebratory steak and lobster meal you buy for yourself and your associates.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) Making your own lunch may have become the norm lately as you strive to pinch pennies, but don't get caught in the repetitive trap of making the same old same old. Pork and chutney, smoked turkey and sun-dried tomato, and grilled salmon with wasabi mustard are all easy-to-make alternatives to peanut butter and jelly!
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) You possess the dynamic energy and stamina of an Olympic athlete today. Keep the fires burning by chowing down on plenty of carbs and protein. You can't do much better than spaghetti and meatballs for that. Just make sure the pasta is whole wheat and the meatballs are made from ground turkey.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) The stress and problems come in waves today, leaving you frustrated and exhausted by day's end. Then you desperately need something comforting to help readjust your attitude! Mussels marinara in angel hair pasta at your favorite Italian restaurant get you there, while a nice glass of cabernet can seal the deal.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Your friends in high places may think they're all that, but you can see right through their pomposity. Don't let them bother you when they gloat about their expensive nights on the town. You can buy a nice meal for what they pay for a single martini, and your fried chicken and dumplings are refreshingly free of pretension.
