Aries (March 21 - April 19) Steer clear of surly coworkers looking to pick fights today. But have something ready in case they come gunning for you. Offering them homemade brownies could take the fight right out of them, especially if you kick in a glass of milk.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Your energy may be too intense today. So switch from black coffee to Orange Pekoe black tea from Ceylon, if not for yourself than for your beleaguered coworkers.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21) Didn't you eat enough over the holidays? So turn down invites to pizza lunch today. Go somewhere for a Caesar salad with chicken. Wash that down with water. It may sound boring, but such is the price you pay for overindulgence.
Cancer (June 22 - July 22) Welcome to the working week. The morning will be tough, but things will get better at lunch. It's good that you froze some of Christmas dinner. Your ham and pineapple sandwich on sweet Hawaiian bread will have you thinking it's the holidays again.
Leo (July 23 - August 22) Think twice about mocking coworkers for their dieting resolutions. The tables will turn when they catch you eating a pastrami sandwich on rye with extra slaw. They'll then notice that the buttons on your chinos have popped off ... again.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22) You'll eye up a cheesy meatball sub like Caligula at a bacchanal. But don't let your animal instincts get the best of you. Be more like Mary Poppins at afternoon tea and have the green salad instead. You'll be glad you did ... I swear!
Libra (September 23 - October 22) Problems with coworkers can be ironed out by hitting them where they live: their stomachs. Bring baked calzones to the next staff meeting and pass them out. Troubles will suddenly disappear, especially when you whip out the marinara dipping sauce.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) You often cling to things even when you know they're bad for you. Sometimes even a pit bull lets go, but the only way people will get that double banana split from you today is to pry it from your cold, dead fingers.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) The first day of the workweek will be dull and mundane. This will give you plenty of time to cruise the Internet. The recipe for linguini with a creamy scallop and shrimp sauce you'll come up with will make tonight's dinner anything but mundane.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) Holiday spending may force you to get economical. So eschew the pricy lunches in favor of homemade. Grilled chicken sandwiches, green salads, fruit and yogurt will be great for the wallet and waistline, although you will miss the caviar.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) It'll be good to finally have the relatives out of the house. Now you'll finally get to cook all the things you like. So grill yourself a T-bone with the prerequisite baked potato. It'll be a far cry from having to run everything through a blender.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20) The workday will be hellish, so make a soothing dinner tonight. Grilled salmon filets with rice pilaf and steamed brussel sprouts will do your soul a lot of good. A glass of fine chardonnay will make things even better.
