Aries (March 21 - April 19) Decisions may have to be quick and spontaneous on this hectic Monday. But your insight will have you making all the right choices. After work hit a salad bar, where you can take your good sweet time deciding on fixings and dressing, no matter how impatient the waiter gets.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Rushing around may put you further behind today. You'll zoom right by details that will come back to haunt you later. Slow things down and you'll get more done. After work go to dinner and order something that will take you a while to eat, like French onion soup and a big steak and baked potato.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21) You'll deliver fiery oratories that will spur people into action today. But don't let being so inspiring go to your head. Your minions could easily turn against you. Then you won't have anyone to talk at lunch to as you eat your fried bologna sandwich all by yourself.
Cancer (June 22 - July 22) Your emotions will be easily aroused today. This will make you something of a powder keg. It may be best to be alone today and interact only if you have to. You'll have to eat lunch alone, but you'll prefer the company to a good roast beef sandwich on sourdough to that of your idiot coworkers.
Leo (July 23 - August 22) When everyone else sees darkness you see nothing but clear blue skies. Your sense of optimism is boundless, and you could have a good time anywhere. Spread the joy by baking chocolate chip cookies and sharing them with coworkers. Kick in some milk and they too could be seeing the light.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22) You're in the game, and you'll do what's necessary to win. You'll eventually hit a home run, but not after taking a few empty swings. Exhausted at day's end, you'll want to have dinner watching a baseball game at your local sports pub. You deserve a big plate of barbecued ribs after such a hard day.
Libra (September 23 - October 22) You may be flying solo these days, with no particular prospects for romance. Put yourself out there tonight, and do a bit of socializing. You may meet someone to dine with, although if they say their favorite restaurant is under the golden arches, you may want to excuse yourself and never return.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) Accidents will happen today and even the most innocuous of items could put you in harm's way. It could be a good idea to stay out of the kitchen, what with all that fire and sharp things. Ordering pizza won't be much better, as scorching hot cheese can really do a number to the roof of your mouth.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) Today will be fun and productive for you. You'll get a lot done, and you'll have a blast doing it. Why can't every day be like this? Amp up the fun after work with dinner at your favorite sports pub. You'll get off on the camaraderie of friends, and smoking hot Buffalo wings and chili.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) This day may lack the stability you crave. Everything will seem tentative and you won't feel like you have your feet on the ground. This will be a passing phase, but treat yourself to something you can trust. Spaghetti and meatballs have never let you down, and they're not about to start now.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) Have an informal meeting with coworkers today and establish yourself as team leader. They'll be surprisingly good with that. Your first order of business will be to order take-out Chinese, but not because you're feeling generous. They'll need it when you have them working overtime tonight.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20) The fog in your head will swirl like a June day in San Francisco. You might as well accept it, because it's going to stick around all day. Be sure to drink plenty of green tea. Its soothing warmth might counterbalance the effects of all that haze.
