Aries (March 21 - April 19) Sensitive coworkers may be no match for your caustic remarks today. You still need to work with them, so tone it down. Buy everyone assorted bagels with cream cheese as a peace offering. They may find you a little less repellant, but not by much.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) You'll encounter a lot of people today, so a good impression is important. So your lunch choices will be crucial. So pass on having French onion soup with garlic bread. That's a killer combination that will produce breath that could knock out a dragon.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21) Your gift for jocularity will break the tension of the workplace today. You'll even treat coworkers to lunch to cheer them up. But they'll go wild when ordering, and the bill for oysters, crab salad and shrimp scampi will be no laughing matter.
Cancer (June 22 - July 22) You'll lack energy to be a fully functioning human being today. So drift through life until dinner. You'll rebound after eating fettuccine in a thick seafood sauce. But you'll be lethargic again once the cream in that sauce licks in, so nighty-night!
Leo (July 23 - August 22) Boundless energy will make you a whirling dervish of activity today. You're not sure how what lit your fire; perhaps a full night of sleep? But it's most likely from the three cappuccinos and five danishes you had before coming into work.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22) You never shuck responsibilities just to have fun. So you'll turn down coworkers wanting you to take a long lunch with them. That's okay; you've brought alphabet soup for lunch. Spelling dirty words with those little letters is a hoot!
Libra (September 23 - October 22) Current projects may be on fire today, so it's a good thing you brought lunch with you. But you won't be able to get much done as the wonderful aroma of leftover baked ziti wafts through the office and everyone stops by to see what you're eating.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) People will lead you along today if you don't think for yourself. It could be easy for them to persuade you to eat fast food double bacon cheeseburgers and fries for lunch, and something that's supposed to be ice cream for dessert.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) Well fed coworkers are happy coworkers, so bring treats into work today. They'll flip for your homemade scones and banana bread. But you'll become the office hero once you whip out the spinach and mushroom quiche.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) Keep plugging away at something and you're bound to succeed. Just keep telling yourself that today as you try again to make creamy seafood chowder without ruining it. But the stars will align and your friends will think you got it from a restaurant.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) Organize a food drive at work today. Bring in a few tall bins and encourage coworkers to donate cans of fruit, fish, or veggies or staples like cereal, oatmeal or pasta. Deliver them to a homeless shelter where your goodwill can be put to good use.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Don't get involved with drama at work today. Do your best to go incognito and eat your lunch outside or in your car. Coworkers may get jealous of your leftover pot roast and mashers with thick gravy, and they'll want to get dramatic about it.
