Aries (March 21 - April 19) You'll tackle today with the enthusiasm of a corporate marauder. You'll make sure others watch as you climb the ladder, high above everyone else. But that's a long drop down, too, and you may find yourself in the company cafeteria eating mushy meatloaf alone while coworkers go somewhere fun.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Good things are coming, but you'll have to wait for them. Patience is not one of your strong points, but there's it is. It could hit at anytime, like when you're at your favorite coffee shop enjoying a cup of joe and a Danish, and the cutie behind the counter stops by and says hello.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21) Friends will offer you advice, but as usual you won't listen. Which means you'll do your own thing, like dinner at a sushi restaurant where the sashimi is cheap and the health standards questionable. You'll wish you had listened as your stomach turns inside out, and you're laid up for days.
Cancer (June 22 - July 22) A spat with your boss today may have you feeling like you're on thin ice. Things will be tentative for a few days as you make amends. Try taking him for a seafood dinner, where you'll have the shrimp cocktail as he feasts on lobster tail. Sucking up is never cheap, but ultimately well worth it.
Leo (July 23 - August 22) You have the winning potential of the New York Yankees. But just like the Bronx Bombers, an inflated ego keeps you from wearing the championship ring. Show a little humility today, else you'll wind up in the bleachers eating crappy hot dogs and drinking warm beer with the rest of the losers.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22) You may have to get frugal as money issues mount today. Take a trip to at the grocery store where you can buy everything you need for a week's worth of lunches and dinners. Making healthy chicken or tuna sandwiches and salads will help you from slipping further into debt.
Libra (September 23 - October 22) Today will either be as great as a night at the dinner theater where you will be treated to a show and an awesome filet mignon dinner with the works. Or it could be as bad as being at the same dinner theater, and the show will be Elvis impersonators singing the Air Supply songbook.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) Today could be a good one to start that oft-delayed fitness routine. Start out slow, but you'll still be hungry afterwards. That's when it'll be best to chow down on a meal heavy on carbs and protein. An egg white omelet and home fries should do the trick, but only eat half of the potatoes.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) Coworkers will want to play games today, but you'll have none of it. You project a professional demeanor and you won't have time for p----footing. After work will be another story as everyone gathers at the sports pub. There you can enjoy pizza, beer, nachos and kicking their butts at pool.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) You'll need strength and perseverance to get through a tough day. You've got game, and you'll manage to get a lot done. But chill out after work with dinner at a nice quiet restaurant. A salmon filet dinner and a few glasses of wine could slow things to a pace better suited to your mellow demeanor.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) You may be seeking freedom from a current relationship. But don't make any rash decision today. Go out to dinner alone tonight and mull over this crises with a nice seafood fettuccine. It may not be as good as what you're partner makes, and that alone could be a good enough reason to stay.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20) You'll discover today that a romantic partner is as fake as counterfeit money. You can't deal with infidelity, and it may be time for the heave-ho. Ponder this over shellfish and chowder tonight. Not only will it help you think, but it'll also prepare you for dining alone for the unforeseeable future.
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