Aries (March 21 - April 19) You'll feel unusually introverted today and that's so unlike you. There must be a reason for these moods; nursing a broken heart, perhaps? It's okay to feel blue. Soothe your misery with a nice piece of cake, a big glass of milk and perhaps a funny video. 'A Fish Called Wanda' anyone?
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Your raging emotions will make you quite grouchy today, and nothing will be to your liking. Cheerful activities like going to a nice restaurant might not be enough to brighten your spirits. The waiter may not like being the brunt of your moods, and you may find yourself wearing that steak as a hat.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21) Insightful observation may tell you when to avoid certain places and situations today. For instance, if you don't see any dogs or cats outside of that new restaurant in town, you may not want to go in. But if you do decide to dine there, don't order the chicken.
Cancer (June 22 - July 22) Your food preparation skills may be rudimentary at best, so don't pretend to have knowledge of things you don't. Fooling with sharp knives may not be the best thing for you, because nothing will halt the dinner process faster than running off to hospital for stitches -- again.
Leo (July 23 - August 22) Nurture your family and friends with some home cooked lovin' today. They'll appreciate the effort you put into it. But constantly bragging about your how great the meal is could have them losing their appetites, and declining any further invitations.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22) Communication with others will come across as clear as strained chicken broth today. Listen to them and you'll gain a deeper insight into what they have a taste for. In the end you'll cook up something that satisfies everyone.
Libra (September 23 - October 22) You may be like a selfish squirrel today, hoarding all the nuts for yourself. Saving some for others would be the right thing to do, but hunger and greed will keep you from doing that. Admit that the good stuff leaves a bitter taste in your mouth when there's no one to share them with.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) You'll radiate the power of a microwave turned to high today. You'll feel as tough as beef jerky and as strong as the taste of an excellent cabernet. You'll demand the respect of others, but be careful. Too much dominance could have them slipping through your fingers like so many grains of sugar.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) You'll have many people demanding your time today. But a shy and moody demeanor will have you tuning them out. It's okay to sequester yourself at home today. Just make sure you have plenty of snacks, and maybe some chocolate, to cheer you up.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) You like putting yourself in positions of power, and how better to do that than by throwing your own dinner party? This way you can dictate what everyone eats, drinks, talks about and listens to. Your guests may not appreciate being force-fed your controlling personality, but they'll stay for the excellent food.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) You may feel emotionally exposed today, like an ear of corn that's been stripped of its leaves. It's never easy standing naked, as you feel vulnerable and weak. But you had better cover up your bits with a fig leaf, because you don't want the whole world to see.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20) An emotional upheaval will have you feeling like you're whirling in a blender today. You'll start off slow at first, and you'll soon be spinning faster and faster. It won't be until you're a fine puree that you'll find the off button, and by then it'll be too late.
Dan Wetzel, Ross Dellenger & SI’s Pat Forde react to the huge performance this weekend by Texas QB Arch Manning, Michigan and Notre Dame's spring games, Jaden Rashada entering the transfer portal, and more
