St. Patrick's Day: What to Eat Before Drinking That Guinness

I admit it: I'm getting excited about St. Patrick's Day already. The Irish among us may understand, and may also understand the reason why it is the perfect holiday:

First, you eat. Then, you drink.

Deceptively simple, no? But think about it: None of the other great drinking holidays involve the formal consumption of alcohol-friendly food quite like St. Patty's. On New Year's Eve, you're lucky if you get a decently-nourishing canapé. On Halloween night, you're too busy shaking the glitter out of your wig to eat. And on the Fourth of July (which, to be fair, comes in a close second), a lot depends on the ratio of hungry guests to prepared grillmasters. ("Two packages of hot dogs for forty people? Was I supposed to bring the loaves and fishes?" Rim shot.)

The traditional St. Patrick's day feast, on the other hand, incorporates food that has been scientifically proven to make drinking yourself into a sloppy, happy, I'm-going-to-hug-everyone-in-this-bar mess a good idea. Almost. Want proof?

The Irish Say: "We love corned beef! Bring us your fattiest brisket and let us boil it for hours and eat it with gusto!"

Science Says: "Delightful Irish people, we applaud your choice! Because eating fatty foods before drinking has been shown to slow the absorption of alcohol into the bloodstream."

The Irish Say: "We love soda bread! Please pass us a large slice, slathered with creamy butter or paired with fresh cheese or just dipped in the juice from the corned beef or...sorry...where were we?"

Science Says: "Irish people, you are brilliant, in addition to being devilishly good-looking! A 1994 study suggests that eating dense carbohydrates before drinking may also help make hangovers less intense."

The Irish Say: "For some reason, we seem to love cabbage! Yes! Even though boiled cabbage is incredibly horrible! But we'll eat this delicious cabbage recipe any day! Hooray, cabbage!"

Science Says: "I can't vouch for this scientifically, but the Egyptians were known to eat cabbage before drinking because they believed it would help keep them from getting drunk. So, go ahead and line your stomach with cabbage, Irish!"

* Semi-obligatory footnote in which it is revealed that all of the above is intended to be read as tongue-in-cheek: Of course, no one, including devilishly-beautiful and brilliant Irish people, should drink heavily, and if you do drink heavily, you will get a hangover no matter what you eat, and you'll probably deserve it. But plan on eating big and having fun anyway.


By Siobhan Adcock

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