Why I hate a good potluck
I am not a fan of potlucks. I find them annoying at best. Why is that? It's because there seems to be about nine different kinds of potlucks and only one of them is good. The rest are lose, lose situations.
The eight kinds of potlucks:
1.The host is nuts potluck
When it comes to potlucks, the line between comprehensive and crazy can get a little murky. If there are more than five e-mails re: one dinner, then Houston, we have a potluck.
2. The diet-derailing potluck
You wanted light tonight yet somehow managed to graze your way into the Doritos, have a bacon cheeseburger and walk out wearing a Chipwich on your new shirt. It's amazing how forced schmoozing, centered around bad food, can make a person feel fat. Oh well, at least it was good going down (or not).
3. The I'm still hungry but someone ate all my food potluck
You manage to scrounge up three "homemade" chicken nuggets while Geoff ( pronounced Ge-off), a dude you've never met, laps up your lasagna.
4. You look like a jerk (even though you didn't want to go) potluck
You roll in with vanilla wafers and diet soda fresh from 7-Eleven to a room filled with gourmet chefs giving explanations of the seasonality and sustainability of their dish.
5. The hairy potluck
Think about it: Potluck food must travel through many hands and places. There's the kitchen, car ride, handing over to the host and placement into the buffet-style germ fest. There's a darn good chance that a foreign object, like a hair for example, may end up in the casserole. It's kind of par for the potluck.
6. The I don't trust this potluck
You're not quite sure if everything is safe to eat. For example, would you think twice before having a piece of this pie? I mean she looks nice and all, but you never know.
7.The DIY potluck
No one brings a thing yet everyone eats everything at your potluck.
8.The all chips, no dip potluck
Everyone brings the same thing and you end up with the sushi without soy sauce scenario.
9. The it never happens potluck
Everyone brings an exotic and delicious dish, no one feels short-changed and it's a blast. It's kind of like the Model UN (United Nations). It doesn't really exist.
Trust me, I want to like the potluck, I really do, an inexpensive way to break bread with buddies, but I can't seem to get past the unfortunate experiences that I've had. If you're a fan of the potluck, please share your secrets to braving and possibly even enjoying a potluck.
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