Many of us are hoping that the next guy we date could be Mr. Right, but what if he's not and our blinders are blocking us from seeing that? Not that we should have a pessimistic attitude about dating, but we've all had the experience where we thought a guy had marriage potential and it turned out he shouldn't have made it past the first few months. It's time to take the blinders off, ladies, and start taking a closer look at the guys we date and how we feel about them. So what are some signs that your Mr. Right may actually be Mr. Wrong?
You're upset at each other far too often
Who wants to be in a relationship where the both of you are upset at each other so often it's become part of the routine? A friend of mine and her now ex-boyfriend used to fight so often we would all just roll our eyes every time they squabbled. A little bickering here and there or the occasional fight is one thing, but when it becomes a frequent thing he's likely not the person you should be with.
You don't care when he's upset (or vice versa)
The biggest way I knew a relationship was over was when I no longer cared if the guy was upset. A couple of my now ex's would be ranting about something I did (or didn't do) and I had to bite my tongue from saying "Are you finished because I'm going now." It sounds harsh, but that's just the way it happens. If you no longer care when he gets upset or vice versa, it's time to reevaluate the relationship.
He abuses you emotionally or physically
There really isn't a bigger sign that your guy is Mr. Wrong than him being abusive emotionally or physically towards you. Far too many women make excuses and later realize how wrong they were. There's never any excuse for a guy to lay his hand on you, put you down or try to make you feel less than the beautiful person you are. Kick him to the curb immediately.
He doesn't support you
Part of being in a relationship is supporting the person you're with. If you can't, you probably shouldn't be with them. Maybe your guy doesn't get why you enjoy your hobbies or your job, and that's fine, but if he's not still encouraging and supporting you anyway then there's always going to be another guy who will.
You like the benefits more than you like him
So the sex is good. Really, really good. That's wonderful, but that's not all there is to a relationship. The same goes for anything else he does for you whether it's buying you nice things or taking you out on dates all the time. If you like the perks of the relationship more than you actually like him, that's a big sign he's not Mr. Right.
Everyone is telling you something is off
I once dated a guy where everyone was telling me that he wasn't the right one. They got a weird vibe from him and knew he wasn't making me as happy as I could be, but I refused to listen and continued on my not-so-merry way. I eventually realized they were right. One or two people telling you may not be such a big deal (although it's still worth listening to what they have to say), but when it gets to the point where many people are telling you the same thing, it's time to take off the blinders and take a good, long look at what's really going on.
You feel like you can't be yourself
I don't care what relationship it is - your boyfriend, your mother, your best friend - you should never feel like you can't be yourself. When it comes to your boyfriend, this is someone you could potentially spend the rest of your life with. Do you really want to hold back being who you are for as long as the two of you are together?
There's a lack of excitement
There's obviously a level of comfort that builds up in a relationship after being together for awhile, but there should still be at least a slight tingle of excitement whenever the two of you are going out on a date or he texts/ calls you. If there's not, there might be a big problem the two of you have to work on.
He doesn't make you happy
The biggest sign that you're not dating Mr. Right is that he just doesn't make you happy. Sure the two of you will go through times when you're so completely annoyed with each other and that's normal, but both of you should know without doubt that you at least make the other person truly happy. If he no longer makes you happy, he might not be the right person for you.
I'm not saying you should immediately dump your guy if he matches one of the aforementioned signs (for the exception of the abuse), but if you found yourself nodding and relating to several as you were making your way down the list, you really need to take a hard look at your relationship and your guy and decide if he's really the person you should be with. It's not an easy thing to do by any means, but it's the best thing to do for yourself and your happiness. Many problems in a relationship can be fixed with good communication and hard work, but there's sometimes a point where you know it's gone past the point of repair. Even if you find the guy you're with is Mr. Wrong, don't give up hope that Mr. Right isn't somewhere in your near future.
More from Lauren R:How to get over the bad boy