20 Life-Changing Shortcuts to Make Adulthood Easier
By Anna Breslaw
Don't you want to know how to get a glass of white wine cold in five minutes?
1. Always get the name of the person you are speaking with. Because an effective way to argue with some corporate person on the other line is not: "The person I spoke with last time I called Con Ed said that I'd paid my bill." That sounds like you either spoke to a ghost or are trying to scam the electric company. Save yourself some time and energy: "I spoke to Ashley, her employee number is 1234567, and she said I'd paid my bill."
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2. Leave your heels under your desk at work and wear sneakers for the commute. It may feel fun and rom-commy to be running through the streets to work in your heels, but that wears off its charm the second you feel the first blister forming.
3. You don't have to drop a zillion dollars on anti-aging face cream - just get a drugstore brand with retinol. Our beauty editor Carly Cardellino says that you do not need to let an upscale makeup store salesperson talk you into getting a $300 serum made of crushed-up diamonds. Just go to CVS.
4. Use adhesive velcro to stick phone and laptop chargers underneath your desk. You WILL NOT be the girl whose phone dies every afternoon at 4 p.m.
5. Did you accidentally send a text to the wrong person? DON'T PANIC. Put your phone on airplane mode and it will fail to deliver. You're so welcome.
6. Order your drinks at "kids' temperature" at coffee shops. You'll save yourself a burnt tongue, the biggest #firstworldproblem our nation faces today.
7. Marshmallows help sore throats. So you've got an excuse to treat yourself when mouth-breathing Linda at work gives you a cold.
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8. If some dude keeps blowing up your phone, send him the following text message. "SERVICE ERROR 305: MESSAGE DELIVERY FAILED. FURTHER MESSAGES WILL BE CHARGED TO YOUR ACCOUNT." Take that, Neckbeard.
9. When you heat leftovers, space out a circle in the center of them. It'll make them heat more evenly. Because nobody likes scalding hot potatoes and cold meat, except maybe aliens.
10. If you've got a ridiculously expensive candle that's burned too low to light with a regular lighter or match, use a dry spaghetti stick.
11. To avoid a mess at your #AdultDinnerParties, use unscented dental floss to neatly cut cheese or dessert.
12. Plump up a flattened pillow again by putting it in the sun for 30 minutes. I don't know why this works. It just does. I'm 27 now, and I know things.
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13. Those plastic hangers you sometimes get when you buy clothes from places like Old Navy have clips that are good for keeping bags of chips fresh.
14. Wrapping a wet paper towel around your warm beer and putting it in the freezer will make it frosty in 15 minutes. Like Paula Cole, you don't wanna wait. To have a beer.
15. And frozen grapes chill white wine while you drink it. Just freeze the grapes. (Delicious summer snack too, bee-tee-dubz.)
16. A hanging shoe rack is great for storing cleaning supplies on the side of your bathroom door. Instead of tripping over your spray bottle of OxyClean every time you have to pee.
17. If nothing's worked for a bad breakout or you've been feeling run-down, use apple cider vinegar as an all-purpose healing mechanism. Dilute it with water to use as a toner, shampoo, or dietary supplement... just make sure it's one of these, with "the mother" in it. Salad dressing will not improve your skin.
18. Run out of bleach for a load of your white laundry? Use white vinegar. It's better for removing pit stains and general body-related clothing stains anyway.
19. Get removable platform shelves for your cabinets and closets. Double the space! And you will never ever get around to installing actual shelves.
20. Set up Kayak price alerts for flights to every city you eventually want to visit. Maybe you didn't plan on that long weekend in Paris this year, but for a round-trip flight that cheap, what the hell, right?
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