How to talk about sex with your guy

It might seem simple enough to talk to your guy about sex, but when it comes down to it you may avoid it as much as possible and likely because you don't want to hurt your guy's feelings or stir up an argument. However, not talking about it can be detrimental to your relationship, and according to recent studies not expressing your opinion on such topics can also have a bad effect on your health. Once of the best things you can do for your relationship - and yourself - is to find a way to talk to your guy about sex in a way that both of you are comfortable with. Regardless of whether you want to talk to your guy about trying new things or his sex skills, there's a way to go about it that can get you the results you're looking for.

Don't dismiss his opinions and feelings

Some women make the mistake of thinking guys barely have any feelings or emotions. Sure they may come off that way sometimes, but for the most part it's pretty far from the truth. When you're talking to your guy about a sensitive topic such as sex, be honest but be very careful how you phrase things. Also, if he gives you his opinion and feelings, don't blow them off and dismiss them even if you don't agree with what he's saying. He feels that way for a reason so if he's willing to open up to you and let you in, don't take that for granted.

Get to the point

While talking to your guy, you need to keep in mind that you're not talking to a woman. Women usually have no problem listening to all the extra verbiage around your point; men on the other hand will likely tune you out after a minute or so and will only hear "blah blah blah." Skip the "We need to talk" and an entire paragraph about why you're going to tell him something and just make your point in a tactful way.

Pick the right time and place

Talking to your guy about your sex life while you're out somewhere is not the time to have the discussion, nor is it a good idea to have the talk after one of you had a rough day. The absolute worst time to have the discussion is while you're in the middle of foreplay or sex - yes there are some who wait until then because they think it's the perfect time. Wait until both of you are in a good mood and willing to discuss things.

Make it dirty

You might be surprised how many sex related issues can be solved with dirty talk instead of a long discussion. For example, if you want to have more sex with your guy, send him a dirty text during the day at least once a week letting him know what he can expect when he gets home. If you want to try something new in bed, rather than give him tips in a sit-down discussion, be vocal during sex and tell him what you want him to do and how much you love it so he knows he's doing it right. Should you want your guy to do more of a certain something to you, such as kiss your neck more often, press yourself up against him at a random time and say "You know what I was just thinking about? How great it is when you …" Dirty talk can be quite effective when it comes to getting your point across with your guy.

One of the most important things you can do for your relationship is to feel comfortable talking to your guy about sex. You may feel awkward at first but it just takes some getting used to before it feels like any other conversation. Open up the lines of communication about the subject and you might be surprised just how much things improve.

More from Lauren R:

Six Ways to Learn to Love Yourself

What You Need to Know About Being Friends With Benefits

Seven Misconceptions Women Have About Dating