Tips for getting over the one that got away

Many of us would say there's one guy from our past who we would classify as the one that got away. It's the one guy who, for whatever reason, things didn't work out with even though there was intense chemistry. Maybe the timing was off or one of you ended the relationship, but thoughts and memories of this person can eat away at you. You start to wonder if you should have done things differently and if this person was really someone you're supposed to be with. It's not easy to just forget the guy like you would be able to with someone else. So what are you supposed to do when you can't seem to get over the one that got away?

Give yourself some time

Right after a breakup and even a year or so later, you might still feel like the guy is the one that got away when in actuality he might not be. I felt the same way after a relationship ended, but then after awhile I realized how wrong I was. Give yourself some time to fully heal and you might realize that you're better off not having him around at all and his relevance in your life may not be what you initially thought.

Be honest with yourself

Sometimes being honest with yourself is one of the hardest things you can do, especially when you've been stuck in the same mindset for so long. Think about why you feel the way you do. Is it because you can't have him? Because he's the best you've been with so far? Maybe it's because you feel so strongly about him that you're only picturing the good and not remembering any of the bad. Really be honest with yourself about why you feel he's the one that got away and think about if you genuinely feel that way or if you only think you do because you're stuck in the mindset.

Get closure

I've been on both ends of getting closure in this situation. Awhile after breaking up, my ex and I talked and we decided to try it again. Although things crashed and burned, I'm so happy I gave it a shot otherwise I would still be in the mindset that he was the one that got away. Another ex told me I was his. He had a girlfriend at the time and said he couldn't move forward with her until he came clean with me about everything and got closure. I told him nothing would happen again and he's now happily engaged.

When you have feelings that strong to actually consider a guy to be the one that got away, it's not easy to bury those feelings or pretend they don't exist. Sometimes you need to face them head on, put them out there and see what happens. Maybe part of feeling the way you do is the curiosity about what could happen - the what if's. You might feel stupid or embarrassed, but your best course of action might be to talk to the guy and explain how you feel. At least then you'll know where you stand.

Cut ties

If the guy tells you he doesn't feel the same way or you know it won't work between the two of you, it's better that you cut ties. The two of you talking or him being around is only going to make you wonder about things even more and it's going to screw with your head. It might be one of the hardest things you ever do, but it could end up being one of the most beneficial.

Start dating other guys

You might think no one will ever measure up to the guy, but when you start dating others you might be surprised at what happens. Despite the past encounters you've had, there are a lot of amazing guys out there. Let yourself get to know some of them. One of them could end up being just as great or better than the guy you say is the one that got away.

Accept what happened

No matter what relationship situation you're in, there's always what if's you can ask yourself. Maybe he's the one that got away and maybe he's not, but if he is, you don't have a choice but to accept that it's the way things are. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to sit around waiting for him while you hope that things are going to work out.

All you can really do is do what's best for you and your heart; you never know what could happen in the future.

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