Q&A with Jane Fonda on boyfriends, sex and being a teenager in your 70's
Jane Fonda doesn't lie about her age. She's 73 and happier than she's ever been. That's saying a lot when you consider her 20's: sex symbol, rising star of Hollywood. And her 30s: Academy Award winner, blockbuster romantic heroine, controversial activist. And her 40's: exercise guru, comedienne, movie mogul. These days, she's a mom, a grandma, a cancer-survivor, a best-selling author, an ex-wife times three and a girlfriend.
She's also a sexpert. In her new bookPrime Time, a memoir-style self-help guide to embracing your "third act", Fonda gets frank about life in your 70s. Her book offers financial advice, funeral planning, mental health and exercise tips, and lots of sex talk. We only had a few minutes with the living legend, so we went straight for the last item on the list.
Shine: Is life really better in your 70's?
Jane Fonda: As I was going through my 60's and entering my 70's I realized I was happier than I'd ever been. I didn't expect to live this long much less to be happier. I wanted to know if this was unique to me. For this book, I spent 4 years interviewing doctors and researching this very subject. I came to understand a majority of people in their 60's and over feel the same way.
S: So your saying those of us in our 30's can look forward to a better time?
JF: My life is much better now. My 'good old days' were really more so-so old days. The 30's and 40's are very hard. If you have kids you have figure who you are in relation to them and to your husband. I was not a very good parent, I suffered eating disorders and I had a hard time in my marriage. In the 40's you have perimenopause and you don't know who you are anymore. In my research I discovered that in your 30's and 40's you're still experiencing the effects of an unhappy childhood. But an unhappy childhood has very little effect on you at an older age.
S: What age range was the hardest in your life?
JF: I had a hard time in adolescence the way a lot of girls do when you're trying to be popular and fit in and you feel like you have to be perfect. One of the tasks of being older as a woman is to rediscover the girl you were before you went through puberty. For some of the years I was married to Ted Turner I had a therapist who taught me this and it made all the difference to me. She introduced to be the concept of a 'life review' which I talk about in the book. It's where you look back at who you were, who your parents were, and try to find the girl you were before you went through puberty. That helped me put a lot of things to rest with myself and my family and have forgiveness.
S: What was prepubescent Jane Fonda like?
JF: Well, I made a concerted effort to find those friends from when I was young and reconnect with them to find out. They shared stories about myself like this one: One day in 7th grade, walking home from gym class a group of us found a snake in the road and we put it in the desk of teacher we didn't like. When she opened her desk, she had what was basically a mental breakdown and called us all into the principal's office. I was the only one out of the whole group of who 'fessed up. I realized that, even then, I believed in owning up to the things I did that were good or bad.
S: Speaking of owning up, you're incredibly frank about everything from masturbation to erectile dysfunction in your book.
JF: My favorite chapter head is "The lowdown on getting it up in the third act". I was very proud of that line. I was in a bubble bath when I thought of that.
S: Let me be frank now: How important is sex in your 70's?
JF: I make a point in the book to say sex isn't necessary for a happy third act. It's okay if you want to put it away. But for me, I am still involved in a relationship [with record producer Richard Perry] and [sex] is important to me. So I make a point in the book to talk about what happens to our bodies and our sexuality as we get older and how to we negotiate with it through the years.
S: You recommend candles for setting the mood, and 'turn-on' music. What's on your playlist?
Richard's in charge of the music and he's very good at it. Its nice to have a boyfriend who's good with music so you don't have to think about it. But Sade comes to mind. We listen to a lot of Sade.
S: Is your generation more liberated about sex than, say, the internet generation?
JF: I certainly think the boomers are. They think they invented sex. Because boomers are becoming senior citizens we can look forward to more discussion and cultural portrayals in the third act. The sexual liberation happened on their watch. I'm a bit older than the boomers. My generation and those older than me tend to be a little more conservative.
S: On behalf of every generation, mind if I ask you one gratuitous burning question: best on-screen kiss you ever had?
JF: Best kiss? Let me think. Well I always look forward the most to kissing Robert Redford. But he doesn't like to do love scenes. Still, I hope I get to do another one with him again.
Related on Shine:
Over 60 and in shape
The best retro workouts ever
Jane Fonda fitness fashion makes a comeback
DIY lessons we learned at the movies
