Ways to deal with less than appealing in-laws

Deciding to be with someone long-term is a huge decision. You not only get the guy, you get his entire family. Whether you like it or not, those people are in his life to stay. You have two choices, move on or move out. I am pretty lucky with the batch of in-laws I received. I have been with my boyfriend for four years and his family has pretty much accepted me as is, with little hassle. There is at least one person I am not fond of, but that doesn't pose a problem as they are removed from the picture now. If you decide to stick around despite some issues, these are some tips on how to handle it.

Always smile and nod

I cannot count how many times I have heard snide comments about me from some of his family members. Most of them have been said directly to me, and I try to stay as calm as possible. I usually smile and nod instead of directly answering questions. It keeps me out of trouble, especially with my big mouth. It is a lot easier said than done, but the less tension you have with his family members, the better off you will be.

Never make him choose

Putting your guy in a sticky position can only do harm. He will always be loyal to his family, so voicing your concerns may be a lost cause. I used to fight constantly with my boyfriend about one member in particular. We would have some pretty heated battles over it, and finally enough was enough. I made him choose, and he picked their side. We have since rectified the issue because he realized I was right, but putting him in that situation was something I should not have done.

Speak for yourself only

Let's be honest here, I am mouthy. I say what is on my mind before thinking twice. This gets me in trouble, especially in situations with his family. Saying something is your right, but make sure you are only speaking on your behalf. Never assume that he will agree with you. It is best if you say nothing at all, but sometimes that just doesn't happen. Remember once things are said, they cannot be unsaid.

Being in a relationship means many compromises. You may not like members of his family and he may feel the same about yours. The bottom line is, they come along with the package. If you can't be civil, the partnership will not work.

More from this contributor

Should you speak up about your friend's relationship?

Ways to Keep Your Relationship Solid After Having a Baby

Living Together While Engaged Doesn't Doom Your Marriage