47 reasons to stop encouraging Lady Gaga...

Lady Gaga: M.A. in song-iography Phd in fame-iology, licensed neuro-fashion-scientist. (Via NBC/Today Show)Lady Gaga: M.A. in song-iography Phd in fame-iology, licensed neuro-fashion-scientist. (Via NBC/Today Show)

  1. The egg.
  2. The fact that she said she was in it for 72 hours.
  3. The fact she wouldn't explain how she peed in it.
  4. She does't laugh...
  5. ...not even at herself...
  6. ...even though she just dressed as a human condom today on live TV, which is funny.
  7. But to her, it's "representative of what we women and people all over the world need to be concerned about."
  8. She's referring to the AIDS epidemic which is a very grave issue, but it's hard to take anyone seriously when they're dressed like a human condom.
  9. She's famous now, does she still need to wear the crazy shoes? They look really uncomfortable.
  10. After she wins the Nobel Peace Prize, she'd like to nominate her favorite makeup brand for it: "MAC doesn't just represent one kind of a woman or one kind of man. They represent all of us and they herald identity in such a powerful way," she told the Today Show.
  11. She just said "herald identity."
  12. She uses that kind of semi-big wording that doesn't work as well as the little words.
  13. She used the word "disenfranchised" twice in an interview with Anderson Cooper on "60 Minutes," both times referring to the plight of being a high school dork.
  14. She got excited when Anderson Cooper used the word "regalia" and asked if she could steal it from him. So she'll be using that a lot now.
  15. She called her apartment in New York pre-Gaga fame "the cheapest apartment she could find."
  16. It was on the lower east side of Manhattan, one of the priciest neighborhoods on the planet.
  17. She said she had bedbugs and a roach problem. Welcome to New York.
  18. She calls ecstasy "MDMA." Come on.
  19. She's said: "I have the right to choose whether or not I want to be a celebrity" as if it was an issue heading to the Supreme Court.
  20. This: "I feel that if I can show my demise artistically to the public, I can somehow cure my own legend."
  21. And this: "What I've discovered is that in art, as in music, there's a lot of truth-and then there's a lie. The artist is essentially creating his work to make this lie a truth, but he slides it in amongst all the others. The tiny little lie is the moment I live for, my moment. It's the moment that the audience falls in love."
  22. Also this: "I can actually mentally give myself an orgasm."
  23. The fact that she talks like that kid in high school who rolled his own cigarettes and had a copy of "anything by Bukowski" is his back pocket.
  24. Except when she's talking about fame: "One of my greatest artworks is the art of fame, I'm a master of the art of fame."
  25. Then she sounds like she's being translated into English from 16th Century Spanish.
  26. Also, the art thing is getting a little tiresome. Let's just call it fame.
  27. "I didn't feel like wearing clothes today," she tells a thoroughly impressed Anderson Cooper during the "60 Minutes" interview.
  28. She's actually wearing clothes, though.
  29. "I'm not even wearing foundation" she adds.
  30. "I'm just wearing eyeliner..." she continues.
  31. "And my McQueens." Okay. That's enough.
  32. She talked a lot about being insecure, said Cooper, who was interviewed about interviewing her.
  33. So did Camille Grammer on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
  34. She claims to have studied the "sociology of fame" which means she makes a lot of demographic graphs.
  35. She's already cast her own biopic, according her "Today Show" interview.
  36. She's considering Rosario Dawson and Marissa Tomei for the leads, even though this movie doesn't actually exist.
  37. But it will, because she says she's "destined for that screen."
  38. Her sex partners are referred to as "lovers."
  39. She's developing a fragrance that smells like blood and semen, which is shocking...because those two things don't really have a decisive odor.
  40. Here's how she says she spent Valentine's day: "I was in my bed with tons of shoes. I was holding all my shoes, my Valentine's."
  41. She's one of those women who brags about the fact that she drinks whiskey.
  42. And that she sometimes smokes pot.
  43. Also that she doesn't lip-sync
  44. Singing live is her job, so that's good.
  45. So is wearing kooky costumes, like condom suits.
  46. USA Today, the nation's number one newspaper, has an article this week questioning "What Is Lady Gaga saying about God?"
  47. This guy is also wearing a condom suit. Bet he'll tell you what he thinks about God if you ask.Bet he'll tell you what he thinks about God if you ask.