6 Sex Secrets of Really Happy Couples
What do happy couples do right in the bedroom? These moves aren't exotic, they don't defy gravity -- they're not even all sex moves, per se -- but they'll make you feel closer to him than ever before.
1. They get busy, period.
You don't have to do the deed every day -- or every six days, for that matter -- to have a great marriage. But there's no way around this fact: "One of the primary ways a man feels close to his partner is by being sexually close to her; it's how he arrives at intimacy," says Laura Berman, Ph.D., director of the Berman Center in Chicago. When a guy doesn't get that regular body-bonding, he isn't inspired to be romantic, which tends to cause his wife's libido to wane, creating a vicious circle, explains Berman.
2. They never withhold nooky as punishment.
Why? Besides the fact that it turns what should be a loving and giving act into a commodity, once sex becomes part of a couple's power struggle, so much resentment builds that soon neither partner wants sex. So instead of feigning fatigue or rolling away from your guy next time you're annoyed, speak up and clear the air -- without sex being on the table.
3. They do the ultimate intimate move.
Four words: Eye contact during orgasm. "It's such a vulnerable moment that sharing it adds a huge degree of intimacy to your relationship," says Berman, who notes that a lot of long-term couples can't master this seemingly simple bedroom move.
4. They know how to get from dog poop to passion.
Successful couples find remarkably unremarkable ways to snap each other out of daily grind mode. How? They figure out their own shorthand for "let's be sexy together." Maybe your man stretches out on the sofa after the kids are in bed and invites you to hop up next to him. Or say, "Gosh, there's nothing on TV tonight, I wonder how we could ever fill the time?!"
5. They're playful.
Sure, super couples can be intense when it counts, but they're also silly with each other on a daily basis. And having that playful streak is a prerequisite for passion.
6. They believe in quickies.
Fast sex can be good sex. Though sex isn't everything, says Berman, when it isn't working, it's a huge factor that creates problems that wouldn't otherwise be there. "Couples who are connecting sexually are more compassionate and forgiving, more romantic and intimate, less lonely and sad, and much less susceptible to conflict," she says. "They have this amazing connecting fiber holding them together." Here, get 6 ways to make quickie sex sexy.
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