I have been away from this Blog for several weeks. There are really no excuses why I have walked away from it. Of course my mother was ill but that still does not mean that I did not have time; even through all of the emotions and sadness. The same idea holds true with my schooling. I have failed in so many things but most of all I have fallen short on the Lord. Each and everyday while away, I found myself looking more into His word and how I should do better… The only problem was, I was just looking and not acting on what I was reading. You see, no work was really being done on me. I realized that today. After being on another social network, I wept for almost an hour. Not from sadness of what I posted but the realization of being short yet and still another day.
Ladies, we try so hard to cover-up and run away from truth because we know the consequences when we finally run into that wall that shows the revelation of what a mess we truly are. I was so busy again trying to impress man, that I didn't impress the Father. Ya see, I can tell people everyday of how to better themselves, but if I am not doing the same then what I say is worthless. I have to pay for it several times more than the people I teach. I fear myself, I fear rejection of myself. SO many things from my past kept me bound from not allowing myself to love me. I know better now though that the love not only goes not the physical me, but the love of God in me. There is still so much more work to do. Ladies we can no longer run because the suffering will be worse than what we are running from. I love you always.