Another useless study: Happy people don't watch tv

Studies are fun, aren't they? They give us all sorts of hard and steady facts to obsess and over-think about. Well, according to a new study, happy people watch less television than unhappy people and spend more time "socializing, going to church and reading newspapers." Wow, okay then, now you know the recipe for good times. Friends, Jesus (do people who go to temples, mosques, synagogues and tree-circling ceremonies not count?) and the Sunday paper will make you happy. Gossip Girl, no, not happy--sad, very sad.

And not just sad--sitting in front of the television for three or more hours a day appears to cause a rise in blood sugar.

Sometimes I think that I've picked the wrong line of work. I think creating and directing studies is what I want to do in my next career. It seems like an abounding amount of money is spent tell us relatively worthless information. I see it all the time: a new study says that this generation has bigger feet than it's parents, a new study says that oatmeal is a slightly tanner shade of tan this year, a new study shows that drinking water that is clear is better than drinking water that is brown and goopy.

Aren't a lot of these studies just common sense? Perhaps the people who are out socializing, going to church and reading the paper are happier because they're more gregarious people in general. Or maybe no one likes to admit they're unhappy. Perhaps the people sitting on the couch are depressed and when they're not down in the dumps there out socializing, church-going and papering-it-up? Perhaps most people are somewhere in-between and, like a bad online dating profile, "enjoy going out and having a good time, but like to stay in, too." Here are twenty-two simple habits of happy women (that go beyond not watching t.v.) that are sure to leave you brimming with bliss.

Oh, right, that's it, the majority of us are just normal, middle-of-the road people who like to go out and like to stay in and like to see friends and like to watch Friends, and some are religious and some are not, and some like to read papers and some like to browse the Internet, and I don't think any of us needed a study to figure that out.

I know reading the newspaper is one of the key elements of happiness, but I think I'm boycotting the science page until it's proven itself smarter than I am.

[photo credit: Getty Images]