Jesse James writes gross, juvenile emails to mistress number 5, we live to blog about it

Getty ImagesGetty ImagesMaybe it's because I feel like I know Sandy Bullock, because she seems so genuine and good and human, because, this awards season, she let down her guard, opened up, and expressed something that is actually hard for many modern women to admit: Over the course of interviews and acceptance speeches, Bullock talked happiness, contentment, and comfort in her skin--and she attributed this blissful state to the true love and partnership of her husband, Jesse James. Then, a week after her Oscar win, courtesy of that very husband (and a series of wh*res straight of central casting), Bullock's heart got crushed like a rusty wreck in a Cash-for-Clunkers junkyard.

Maybe it's because of all this that when I think about the motorcycle-riding beast to our left, I feel wildly, irrationally violent and I want to punch him in his stupid face.

The latest in the Bullock/James infidelity saga is a series of emails leaked to the press by Merilee Gerth, alleged James' mistress number five and a former employee of his company West Coast Choppers. Granted, these are not Tiger-level sexts, there's no overt misogyny, scary hostility, or even requests for graphic, freaky acts. But James' neediness, his cutesy language ("Otay" for OK=EW), and his juvenile sexual innuendo are equally gross. Actually, grosser than gross. This is a married man in his late 30s behaving like a horny tween. When Gerth tells him she's leaving for the day and he replies with, "Naaw isss ok just get no love anymore......" it's not charming or adorbs, it's just dumb-sounding and disgusting. And then there's this choice exchange:

Jesse - "In a meeting?"
Merilee - "No...I'm done."
Jesse - "Need anything before I split? ....."
Merilee - "Some tums."
Jesse - "I have some special fluid that you can drink and it makes it all better ....."

OMFG. Seriously, Jesse? Did you just suggest that your ejaculate could heal this woman's stomach ills? ARE YOU TWELVE??

For her part, after being fired in 2007, Gerth, a former topless dancer, sued James for sexual harassment and, according to Radar.com, received a six-figure settlement.
James is currently in sex rehab in Arizona.
Bullock has yet to file for divorce.
Sigh.

Radar.com