Private play: When your baby discovers what's "down there"

by Gregory Plemmons, MD for PregnancyAndBaby.com

So what do you do when your baby, toddler or preschooler seems to be having a great time with his or her private parts -- or playing "doctor" with a friend or neighbor -- in the middle of the living room? A pediatrician shares some ideas.

The question:

How do you deal with children who want to show each other their "privates" while they are playing. What do you say and how do you discourage it? - Lori in Vancouver, Canada

The pediatrician answers:

All children begin to explore their bodies by their second year of age, and a certain amount of curiosity about "private parts" and the differences between girls and boys may be normal. Masturbation is even a normal part of toddler development.

Often, adults react to this with anxiety or shock, but even subtle disapproving responses you may have when coming upon such a situation may be picked up by toddlers.

Try not to make them feel ashamed of their bodies, and try not to use negative language (this is hard), but use the opportunity to remind your children that boys and girls ARE different, and that nudity and touching others "down there" is simply not acceptable public behavior.

I would also try to encourage alternative forms of play -- most children at this age are simply curious and like role-playing, perhaps using dolls or other "let's pretend" games to dissuade them from this type of behavior.


ALSO SEE:

How to have the sex talk with your kids
Who should be teaching your kids about sex?
When should you talk to your kids about sex?
Care of the uncircumcised penis


About the author: Gregory Plemmons, MD is an Assistant Professor of Pediatrics in the Division of General Pediatrics at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee