Sex and Candy: How to Use Lollipops in Your Lovemaking

Laura Corn, author of Passport to Pleasure: Secret Sealed Seductions for Fun-Loving Couples, has a sweet idea to charm your man.

Here's how I think it started:
Caveman comes home, exhausted from another long day of hunting. The mastodon got away, and one of the other cavemen made fun of him -- "You throw spear like girl!" -- so he's a little cranky. He's wishing someone would hurry up and invent television. And beer. Cave romance is the last thing on his mind.

His cave spouse wants to show him the cool thing she gathered today with the other cave girls. It's a beehive, all nice and de-beed, and she's very excited about it, but she can tell he's just feigning interest to be polite. Suddenly, the hive breaks open. Honey spills out, making a mess all over the cave girl. At first they laugh about it, but then the cave guy gets an idea and starts to lick the honey off her skin.

And that was it. That was the invention of oral sex.

Honeylingus, in the old language.

That's my theory, anyway. I could be mistaken. However it started, though, sex has been sweeter ever since, don't you think?

Lucky for us, our forefathers also eventually created candy, and that's why we can now enjoy sugary treats without having to fight bees or get naked. But some inner part of us always remembers that amazing, delicious discovery by our ancient ancestors, and so those two concepts -- sex and candy -- are always locked together in our heads. I mean, really, when you see someone sucking on a lollipop, what do you think of? Let me rephrase that: What does your guy think of when he sees a stick of candy sliding in and out of your mouth?

You know the answer.

You can, if you wish, create this seduction with any kind of sweet you like, even something as messy as honey. But I recommend lollipops and specifically those cute heart-shaped suckers. So adorable! Buy a bag of them and, early in the week, start leaving a trail of lollipops around the house. One by one, your guy will find your sweet surprises in unlikely spots -- in his favorite chair, under his pillow, tucked in a shoe -- and every time, he'll smile and think of you.

So far, pure romance. But on Friday, plant a slightly more wicked idea in his head. Leave him a lolly with a note taped to it: I'm going to teach you a whole new way to enjoy these things, tomorrow night at eight.

Leave another note with a lollipop in his car Saturday morning. Lick this! Practice for tonight.

Suddenly, he's that cave guy again. He'll be running his Saturday errands with a silly grin on his face. Honey-lingus, indeed. He can't wait to get back to the cave with you.

Right after dinner, unwrap another lollipop and give it a long, lascivious lick. Lock eyes with him while you pop it in your mouth and suck it like... well, like it's him. Wink. Tell him to count to one hundred and then follow you to bed. One... two... three four fivesixseveneightninetynineonehundred.

You've had time only to pull off your pants and climb onto a pile of pillows on the bed. But that's all you need, that and your sucker. Pull it out of your mouth. Slowly, dramatically, touch it to your thigh, just above your knee. "Come here and lick this," you tell him, pointing to the sticky spot on your leg.

Yum! He'll be on the bed in a flash, nibbling the lolly-print. "Good boy! Now... lick this." Lift your leg and apply the lollipop to the back of your thigh. Enjoy the warmth of his tongue as he laps up your sugar. He gets it now. You press the pop somewhere, and he follows with his mouth. Sweet!

Touch it to your neck. Pull off your shirt and draw a line of sweet spots across your tummy. Use the lollipop to lead his tongue to your hips, your breasts, your mouth. Then turn the tables. Start applying the candy to his skin and following it with your tongue. Neck, shoulders, nipples (don't forget to lick his nipples -- wow! ) and, of course, take your time drawing sugary circles all around his stick. Ooh, yes, that's what he's been dreaming of all day. That's what he's been imagining, ever since you started teasing him. He's waiting for you to make his lolli--

Pop!

Sexy Stats

  • In nearly every book or column about sex techniques, the Lollipop Lick is listed as one of the great oral techniques you can master.
  • In 1916, a Russian immigrant was given the keys to the city of San Francisco for inventing a machine that inserted sticks into candy, thereby automating the creation of lollipops, and forever associating the City by the Bay with sucking.
  • For maximum lolly inspiration, listen to "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent, "I Want Candy" by Bow Wow Wow, "Sex and Candy" by Marcy Playground, "Lollipop" by Lil Wayne, "Lollipop" by Mika, and of course, "Lollipop," by the Chordettes.
  • Lollipop lick. Recall those long and twisty lollipops from the carnivals, the ones that you cannot possibly fit all the way into your mouth. So the best technique is to lick from the bottom to the top, following the swirl of the candy.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Laura Corn, author of Passport to Pleasure (Copyright © 2008 by Laura Corn), lives in Santa Monica, California, where she is the President and owner of Park Avenue Publishing. She has appeared on E!, Entertainment Tonight, Extra and the Lifetime Network, and has been widely quoted in Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, Playboy, and Redbook. Her ivillage.com column, "Have Hotter Sex/Ask Laura Corn," receives over 17 million unique visitors each month. She is also the creator and producer of the best-selling video, The Incredible G-Spot: The Ultimate Sexual Experience, and most recently 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex... the Game!

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