The CDC prepares for a zombie apocalypse (and other disasters)

Badge from emergency.cdc.govBadge from emergency.cdc.govEarlier this week, the CDC-yes, seriously, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention-posted a handy guide to zombie apocalypse preparedness.

"There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for," their article says. "Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That's right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you'll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you'll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency."

Their advice sounds suspiciously like preparing for hurricane or something but, according to longtime zombie apocalypse aficionado Jenny Lawson, who blogs at The Bloggess, that may be just because we don't have any historic zombie attacks to learn from.

"Yes, I know some people will say that zombies are so 2009 and that I should move on but I'm sorry but cholera was so 1892 but I'm still pretty concerned about that too," she wrote in November. "Plus, cholera won't eat your face off and also those who don't remember history are doomed to repeat it. Except that the zombie apocalypse hasn't even happened yet so we don't even have past evidence to go on."

CDC spokesman Dave Daigle says that the CDC is hedging their bets by making sure their zombie apocalypse tips can apply to more mundane disasters, like floods and tornadoes, too. ("Zombies and tornadoes have a surprising amount in common," Lawson quipped to the Washington post. Yes, seriously, The Washington Post.) The CDC suggests that you pick two meeting places for your family (one near your home, and the other outside your neighborhood, in case of evacuation), have emergency contact information available, plan your evacuation route, and create an emergency kit with water, food, medication, clothing, and other supplies.

Lawson suggests stocking up on large swords as well, since they don't require ammunition. "I'm a big fan of riot guns for the first wave and then samurai swords for stragglers," she told the Washington Post. "But I assume I'll end up shooting myself accidentally and becoming a zombie myself so technically I'm not that concerned."

And, since the Rapture and/or Judgement Day is predicted to take place really-for-real-this-time this weekend (the date has been set at least 67 other times already), you might want to make a printout of the zombie apocalypse advice in advance, since you probably won't have time amid all the chaos and post-Rapture looting.

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